Friday, October 30, 2026

La Fin de La Semaine Essay Question: Special "Close-Captioned for the Morally Impaired" Edition

This came up tangentially in Tuesday's reader comments, and I figured let's go for it. So we'll abjure the traditional snarky intro referencing my Asian Manual Catharsis Technician Fah Lo Suee and move, directly and inexorably, to the subject of today's business. To wit:

...and your favorite misheard/deliberately mangled/re-written as a parody song title or lyric from a post-Elvis pop/rock/rolk/soul song is...???

Discuss.

In case you're wondering, my fave in the more traditional category is...

...which I have always heard, and cannot un-hear, as "She's a muscular boy."

But this one...

...which I will forever sing in this version (written in 1965 by my long-time friend and Weasels bandmate Allan Weissman) has irrevocably permeated my consciousness to the point I hear it in my head whenever the actual song or video pops up.

Planes crashing into mountainsides
With the loss of many lives
That's what I like
Soft areas of babies heads
Hit them there and they'll be dead
That's what I like

They say that all good things must end someday
Governments must fall
But don't you know that I like it more
When I read in the news
That someone got mugged last night
It serves them right

So when your aunt
Goes and takes her landlord's life
And does it with a butcher knife
That's what I like
That's what I like!!!

I should add that Allan was widely considered to be the Poet Laureate of Teaneck High School during his tenure there, knocking out parodies like the above at an alarming rate. Most of them have been lost to history, but I do recall at least one other (just the title, not the lyrics alas) which was a re-write of Petula Clark's "Downtown" in honor of our 9th grade science teacher Mr. Dubin.

Alrighty then -- what would YOUR choices be???

And have a great weekend, everybody!!!

25 comments:

Alzo said...

Since 1973, I've always heard the first line of Stealers Wheel's hit 'Stuck in the Middle with You' as "Well, I don't know why I carry the knife." This was reinforced by its infamous use in 'Reservoir Dogs(1992)." But only a few years ago, I found out that it's actually "Well, I don't know why I came here tonight." As Roger Miller would say, "Dang me!"
BTW, Allan's lyric subs are devilishly good.

M_Sharp said...

It looks like I'm first, so...
Jimi Hendrix, "Purple Haze" - "Excuse me while I kiss this guy"
Creedence, "Bad Moon Rising" - "There's a bathroom on the right"

M_Sharp said...

It looks like I'm actually second.

steve simels said...

Ah…the classics.😎

Sal Nunziato said...

I still laugh out loud whenever I hear Allen Sherman sing "A Waste of Money" to the tune of "A Taste Of Honey."

My own personal faux pas? Singing "Hail the county judge!" instead of "Tell me something good" by Rufus.

M_Sharp said...

Mr. Weissman definitely deserves his title, that's hilarious!

edward said...

Elvis Costello's "Baby's Got A Brand New Hairdo": The chorus is actually
"The girl that used to have it, and the girl I still have"

I always heard it as :
"She's the girl I used to love and the girl I still hate" which, let's face its, is much more Costelloian than the correct version.

Anonymous said...

Lloyd Cole is a fine songwriter. "Past Imperfect" from his album The Negatives is one where I heard one word in the first line in a way that I still think is better than the original:

I heard:
Excuse me, can I use your pain
I have mislaid my own...

instead of:
Excuse me, can I use your pen
I have mislaid my own...

https://youtu.be/BC8ULXl-ijA?si=ZJ2vVLfcDQY_AeJ_

- Paul in DK

cthulhu said...

“Gimme the Beach Boys and free my soul”…thought that one would be high on your list, Steve!
I’m partial to the INXS song, “Suicide Blonde”, which I keep hearing as “Soup & Salad Bar”…try it!
And once you’ve heard Johnny Rivers sing “Secret Asian Man”, you’ll never unhear it.

steve simels said...

"Secret Asian Man." Wow. 😎

BG said...

The Go-Gos “Alex the Seal” is a classic.

ChrisE said...

Steve - You're not the only one who misheard the lyric to that Herman's Hermits hit. Many years ago, at the record store where I work, one of our regular customers asked me - sincerely and seriously - if we had a single by that title :-)

Another pretty famous one was the part in the (Young) Rascals' hit "Groovin' ", in which Felix C sings "Life will be ecstasy/You and me endlessly...", which a lot of people, including me, heard as "You and me and Leslie."

Rob said...

Here is a song that I love and in 59 years I have heard completely different lyrics through the entire song -
Omaha - Moby Grape

Rob said...

Oh - R.E.M, Radio Free Europe
Have always heard the lyric -
Calling out in transit
me - crawling out in trenches 🥴

Anonymous said...

How about McGuinn, Clark and Hillman's lone hit "Don't You Ride Her Rough Like That" ?

Bob in IL

P.S. Steve, thought of you yesterday when I discovered Ian Matthews' version of "She May Call You Up Tonight" from a 1980 LP. Pretty good.

Anonymous said...

Santana's "Evil Ways" has the line "you hang around, baby, with Jean and Joan and who knows who." I've always heard "you hang around, baby, with CHEATER JONES and who knows who."

Convince me that my way is not better!

Tim Walters said...

This is pretty random, but somehow all the funnier for it. To me, anyway.

“Hot town, punching Hello Kitty…”

https://bsky.app/profile/gailsimone.bsky.social/post/3mwz26ichzs2p

Anonymous said...

I actually heard it as "calling out in transit," but figured I probably had it wrong.

Rob said...

Iron Butterfly - Ina Gadda Da Vida
I got a gonnarea baby, or
In a box of Velveeta baby 😉

Anonymous said...

Rolling Stones "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction":

Real lyrics are:
"I'm trying to make some girl "She Says..."

I always hear it (to this day!) as:
I'm trying to make some girl Pregnant!"

Ah, the Captain always had a dirty mind!

Wiseman is a great lyricist to this day!

Captain Al

Anonymous said...

I like to sing creomulsion for Sweet Emotion.
Mike

steve simels said...

Ooh…gotta check that out. Thanks!😎

steve simels said...

Ohgod, that’s great. 😎

mistah charley, sb, ma, phd, jsps said...

Beach Boys - I'm reminded of their song misquoted in 2007 by Senator John McCain - "Bomb, Bomb Iran" - that country and its neighbors are in West Asia, by the way

To be clear, I do not think any MORE bombing of Iran is the right thing to do - it could be a very bad idea, actually - more blowing things up and causing casualties is not what the world needs now

Rob said...

My Halloween Pick -
Bobby Pickett and the Crypt Kickers
They did the math, they did the monster math ☠️🧛🎃