Weekend Listomania (Special I Came to Casablanca For... Video Edition)

Well, it's Friday and you know what that means. Yes, my Oriental manservant Hop-Sing and I are off to join Sen. John McCain in scenic Holland, Ohio, where we'll be doing a weekend tour of area Roto-Rooter franchises in the company of Joe "The Plumber™" Wurzelbacher. The high point of the weekend happens Sunday afternoon, at the local Hooters, where Joe will be returning his Social Security checks. With Special Guest Star: Joe "The Unemployed Truck Driver Thinking About Calling the Sean Hannity Show™" Wurzelbacher, JTP's developmentally challenged older brother.

In any case, as a result, posting by moi will obviously be fitful for a few days.

But in my absence, here's a fun project for us all to contemplate:

Best Post-Elvis Song or Record Whose Title References Water in Some Way!!!!!

No arbitrary rules here. Just stay wet, I guess.

Anyway, here's my strictly off the top of my head Top Eight:

8. Creedence Clearwater Revival -- Walk on the Water



From the first album, if memory serves, and wonderfully spooky. I think Richard Hell and the Voidoids covered it in the 80s, and quite well.

7. Bruce Springsteen -- Lost in the Flood



"And everybody's wrecked on Main Street from drinking unholy blood
Sticker smiles sweet as Gunner breathes deep, his ankles caked in mud
And I said, "Hey, gunner man, that's qucksand, that's quicksand, that ain't mud
Have you thrown your senses to the war, or did you lose them in the flood?"

Early Bruce too wordy by half? How the heck did that impression ever get around?

Honorable Mention: "The River."

6. Lou Christie -- Rhapsody in the Rain



The dirtiest top 40 song of 1966.

5. Smashing Pumpkins -- Porcelina of the Vast Oceans



Okay, that song title is even stupider than the title of the album it's from, but it does prove yet again that there is no Listomania subject so obscure that we can't find an appropriate video featuring Billy Corgan's pretentious cueball noggin.

4. Led Zeppelin -- When the Levee Breaks



For obvious reasons, not the least being the musical onomatapaiea.

3. Joni Mitchell -- River



Said it before and I'll say it again, but if this song doesn't make you weep I don't want to know you. BTW, I posted Joni's version last week in another context, so I thought this one by Robert Downey Jr. -- from an episode of Ally McBeal (it's on the soundtrack CD) might wake you up. Seriously -- apart from being one of the two or three most interesting actors of his generation, the sonofabitch is also a great singer.

2. The Velvet Underground -- Ocean



Because a watery Lou Reed is a terrible thing to waste.

And the number one H20 related song, it's not even a contest you knuckleheads so if you contradict me on this I'll come to your house and hurt you real bad, obviously is ---

1. Julie London -- Cry Me a River



A brilliantly written song, an amazing minimalist production (that guitar! that echo at the fade out!), and (as directed here by Frank Tashlin in his hilarious The Girl Can't Help It) perhaps the first and greatest music video ever.

Awrighty then -- and your choices would be...??????

[Shameless Blogwhore: My parallel Weekend Cinema Listomania (theme: Great Gimmick Films!) is now up over at Box Office. As always, if you could go over there and leave a comment, an angel gets its wings.]