Weekend Listomania (Special All in the Family Video Edition)

Well, it's Friday and you know what that means. Yes, my Oriental concubine housegirl Fah Lo Suee and I are off to...well, I can't tell you where, but let's just say it involves an Albino monk and the lost treasure of the Knight Templars. Also something about Jesus, but perhaps I've already said too much.

In any case, as a result, posting by moi will necessarily be somewhat fitful for a few days.

But until then, as always, here's a fun project for us all to contemplate:

Best Post-Elvis Pop/Rock Song or Record Whose Title or Lyrics Reference a Blood Relative

You know what we're talking about -- songs with words like Uncle or Mommy or Grand-Niece (as unlikely as that one might be).

And no arbitrary rules for this one, except that "child" is totally ineligible for reasons I feel no need to explain to the likes of you, except to say that I find Guns 'n' Roses annoying.

Okay, that said, here's my totally arbitrary Top Seven:

7. Mother -- Cristina Aguilera



The Lennon song, obviously, but I went with Aquilera because to my surprise she actually seems to kind of get it on a personal level and because I wanted something recorded in this century.

6. Brother Louie -- Stories



Okay, the "brother" here is not a blood relative, but it's a great song about racism, so the heck with consistency.

5. Sister Surround -- The Soundtrack of Our Lives



The greatest rock 'n' roll band in the world, or just the most exciting group in Sweden? YOU make the call!!!! BTW, I have no idea if the titular sister is a relative or a nun. Obviously, I'm being more flexible about the rules than I had planned.

4. Cousin Kevin -- The Who



Pedophilia rocks! Wait, that can't be right...

3. Jesus Loves His Babies -- Smashing Pumpkins



An obscure out-take proving yet again that there is no Listomania theme so specific that we can't find a way to shoehorn in Billy Corgan and his pretentious cueball noggin. Like you're surprised?

2. Auntie Grizelda-- The Monkees



Recorded live on the 1967 tour with Hendrix, so perhaps we should refer to this as The Peter Tork Experience.

And the number one niftiest -- please, it's not even a contest so just chill -- song referencing some kind of blood relative, obviously is --

1. Papa Was a Rolling Stone -- The Temptations



The Temptations Mark II, and producer/writer Norman Whitfield's masterpiece of proto-psychedelic funk.

Awrighty then -- what would your choices be?

[Shameless Blogwhore: My parallel Cinema Listomania (Theme: Performances That Deserved An Oscar But Didn't Get One!) is now up over at Box Office. As always, if you could see your way to going over there and leaving a comment, it would really put me in good with management. Thanks.]