Idylls of the King

There's rock criticism, and then there's rock criticism.

From 1982, and the simultaneously funniest and most appalling bootleg of all time, please enjoy the late Elvis Presley and the dance sensation that fortunately did not sweep the nation -- "Do the Clam."




In case you were wondering, EGS was a collection of 22 of the most egregiously awful tracks on some of the crappiest of Elvis' almost literally countless albums -- most, but not all, from the movie soundtracks he ground out by the yard (some come from the blatant throwaway live records issued in his name as well). The idea, of course, was to make fun of even the possibility that Presley was some kind of an artist, let alone a major one, and in 1982, in the wake of the rampant over-commercialization of Presley's death, that wasn't as offensive a thing to do as it might sound, at least depending on your perspective. In fact, if the people who put the bootleg together weren't themselves Presley fans, I'd be very surprised.

I actually had this on vinyl back in the day, mostly for the cover art, although the reproduction of an actual prescription written by Dr. Nick was a really nice touch as well.

I should add that "Do the Clam" (which was written, I kid you not, by Ed Wood Jr.'s girlfriend and Glen or Glenda? co-star Dolores Fuller) is not, strictly speaking, the worst song of the compilation. That honor may belong to "Queenie Wahine's Papaya" or "There's No Room to Rumble Rhumba in a Rumble Seat," but obviously we're splitting very obnoxious hairs here.

Also, I am reliably informed that there's a CD resissue of this with bonus tracks. If you own it, I would like to meet you, if not (as I am wont to say) perhaps to shake your hand.