Weekend Listomania: Special "And In Conclusion, National Rifle Association -- Bite Me!" Edition

[I originally posted a version of this about ten years ago, but obviously it's even more relevant now, alas. In any case, I've rewritten it and swapped out a couple of the original entries to avoid accusations of being a total slacker. Please enjoy. -- S.S]

Okay kids, here we go. What are...

... THE BEST OR WORST POST-BEATLES POP/ROCK/SOUL/COUNTRY SONGS OR RECORDS THAT REFERENCE FIREARMS IN EITHER THE TITLE OR THE LYRIC!!!

Self-explanatory, so no arbitrary rules, but by firearms I mean the obvious, i.e. handguns, rifles, etc. In other words, if you try to sneak in something like Bruce Cockburns' otherwise quite splendid "If I Had a Rocket Launcher" I'll make merciless fun of you.

And my totally top of my head Top Nine are:

9. Terry Reid -- Bang Bang



Written by Sonny fricking Bono, and covered here to within an inch of its "my baby shot me down" life. Reid, of course, is the man who passed on Robert Plant's gig in Led Zeppelin, thus altering history in unfathomable ways. A certain Shady Dame and I were privileged to see Reid in a tiny club a few years ago, BTW, and it was in a word transplendent.

8. The Connells -- Get a Gun



From 1990 and a long-time fave of mine. Utterly gorgeous on every level, I think, but to this day I haven't the slightest idea what it's about. These guys are apparently still a going concern, however, and if I ever run into them maybe I'll ask.

7. Warren Zevon -- Jeannie Needs a Shooter



I know, I know -- you thought I was gonna say "Lawyers Guns and Money."

6. Mission of Burmaa -- That's When I Reach for My Revolver



Yeah, it's a great song. Still, and I forgot who said it, but there comes a time in everybody's life when they look at their CD collection and realize that those three Mission of Burma albums are basically just taking up space.

5. Hackamore Brick -- Zip Gun Woman



From the 1971 cult album. These guys are supposed to be some kind of proto-something -- punk, powerpop, I don't know what -- and people I know whose opinions I respect actually like the record. All I know is, I pull it out once every year or two to see if it makes sense to me yet, and it never does.

4. Little Steven and the Disciples of Soul -- Under the Gun



That's Dino Danelli, of Young Rascals fame, on drums, BTW. In any case, the best nasal homage to the ouevre of Keith Richards ever waxed.

3. The Clash -- Tommy Gun



I know, I know -- you thought I was gonna say "The Guns of Brixton."

2. The Sevens -- Seven

Apocalyptic garage rock from the Rolling Stones of Switzerland. Actual gun shots -- a starter pistol, actually -- fired in real time in the studio, courtesy of producer Giorgio Moroder (in his pre-disco days, obviously).

And the Numero Uno ode to the joys of blowing stuff up real good simply has to be...

1. The Guess Who -- Guns, Guns, Guns



This is one of the Guess Who tracks I usually pull out when people make fun of my obsession with the band. I'd actually forgotten it was a single; I mostly think of it as one of the best cuts from Rockin', the 1972 LP that's not only their masterpiece but one of the most unjustly overlooked albums of its decade. The song itself is sui generis; slash-and-burn guitars, a chorus for the ages, and a lyric -- at a historical moment when corporate greedheads are trying to convince us that fracking is good for you and the NRA and their Supreme Court enablers won't rest until every American can walk into a bar carrying a Stinger missile -- that's obviously depressingly prescient.

Alrighty, then -- what would your choices be?

And have a great weekend, everybody!!!!