The Best Grammy Report Ever

Comes from Sal and Tony at NYCD. Simels hipped me to them a while ago, and I've been having great fun with their emails, but this report was just a riot.

Best acceptance speech: Ludacris --"I want to thank Bill O'Reilly"? "My father's on his death bed. I Love you to death, Dad"? Looks like ya already did 'Cris. Or is it Lu'? Luda? He gets bonus points for thanking the William Morris Agency.

We just dont get Mary J. Blige.

Worst song ever by great band: "Life In The Fast Lane" - The Eagles (winner of the Lifetime Achievement Award for Band That Pisses Off Tony The Most).

Tony missed Rascal Flatts' Eagles tribute so he could check out a movie on ESPN Classic which features a cameo appearance by Buddy Greco.

..........
At this point in his career, Lionel Richie should devote all his time to feeding his daughter.

OK, Mary J. is better than Chris Brown. But he can dance better than Smokey Robinson and Lionel Richie put together. Then again, they are a combined 130 years old.

It is a sad state of affairs when "Soul Brother Number One" leaves us, and the go-to artist for the tribute is Christina Aguilera, with Prince in the room. Even without Prince in the room. When Peter O'Toole dies, we guess we can expect a tribute from James Brolin.

Ludacris and Mary J.-- it just wasn't good.

Watching James Blunt sing "You're Beautiful" (winner of Best Song That The Entire World Is So Sick Of That Nobody Will Ever Want To Hear Anything This Guy Does In The Future) made us think, "This is what we expect Burgess Meredith would have sounded like as a 25 year old folk singer."

There's more, and bitchier. Woohoo!