Weekend Listomania (Special A Rose is a Rose is a Rose Video Edition)

Well, it's Friday and you know what that means. Yes, my Oriental She Who Could Bop On My Shmeckel Pretty Good account manager Fah Lo Suee and I will be travelling to...well, I can't tell you, but it involves Ann Coulter, a highly skilled surgeon, and an endicronologist to be named later. Other than that, my lip is unfortunately zipped.

In any case, posting by moi will necessarily be sporadic for a few days.

But in my absence, here's a fun project for you all to contemplate:

Stupidest Post-Beatles Band Name Ever!!!

Self-explanatory, obviously, so no arbitrary rules this time, except it has to be a real band that actually charted. Some guys you knew in college named Rubella and the Dead Little Girl who played one gig at a frat party in 1988 don't count. Okay? Oh, and by stupid, I basically mean that the people who thought it up thought it was cool at the time, but they were sadly mistaken.

Thank you. And apologies if I've done this category before -- I'm old, I'm overstressed, and I'm totally out of gingko biloba.

Okay, here's my totally top of my head Top Five:

5. Spandau Ballet



These guys were the lamest ever, but the name was the last straw. Seriously -- why not Auschwitz Mambo? Or Treblinka Gavotte?

Assholes.

4. Shadowfax



Trust me, I thought this was a stupid name before I saw Lord of the Rings. And man, was that disconcerting -- "Why is there a horse in this movie named after a crappy 90s New Age band?"

3. Anthrax



Oh yeah, real cool -- name yourself after one of the all time loathsome diseases. Although, I must admit that after the post-9/11 anthrax attacks, I thought the new name they gave themselves -- Basket Full of Puppies -- was pretty funny.

2. Tool



I was going to go with Limp Bizkit, for obvious reasons, but on reflection I think this is even dumber. Dudes, why not just call yourself pud, for crying out loud.

And the number one dopey rock band name, c'mon, you're thinking exactly the same thing, obviously is --

1. Whitesnake



Racist, sexist and sublimely stupid. It's like the Trifecta of Embarassing Crap.

Awrighty then -- what would your choices be?

[Shameless Blogwhore: My parallel Cinema Listomania -- theme: most memorable adaptations of a literary classic -- is now up over at Box Office. As always, if you could see your way to going over there and leaving a comment, it would help convince management that I'm worth the exorbitant freelance rate I'm charging them. Thanks!]