Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Oh Good God

Anyone who knows me is probably aware of my inordinate pride that I have yet to watch, under my own steam, a single episode of reality TV. I did see one episode each of two separate Survivors, and in both cases spent the episode fending off the complex explanations offered by whoever it was whose idea it was to watch the show. Honestly, people, if you're interested in tracking complicated political interconnections for big stakes, spend your time figuring out why the fuck the Royal House of Saud gets to set American foreign policy and then fund suicide bombers all while walking hand-in-hand with the prez. (The soundtrack to that stroll really should have included Leo Sayer and/or the Little River Band.) We could break it up into one hour weekly segments, if you'd like.

ANYWAY, reality TV holds no charm for me, but it's doing its best to weasel its way into the .001% of the population who have so far avoided its range. Evidence: Hit Me Baby One More Time. To wit:
Veteran hitmakers perform and compete! Based on the popular UK show of the same name, "Hit Me Baby One More Time" tracks down hitmakers from the past and they take the stage in a new competition in which you're the judge! Former Top Ten artists return to perform their trademark hit song along with one of today's current hits. At the end of the night, the live audience votes for their favorites!
Coming Soon...
Wang Chung, The Knack, Irene Cara, Sophie B. Hawkins, Cameo, Tommy Tutone, Vanilla Ice, The Motels and more!


This week, A Flock of Seagulls, Loverboy, Tiffany, and CeCe Peniston. (Apparently, Tiffany was on the British one, too. Huh.)

NYMary's fearless prediction: this show will tell us nothing except which kitsch is currently in vogue. 80's garbage bag bands? Mall girl disco? Headbanded Canadians? There can be only one....

And another fearless prediction: The Knack will take home the gold at the end of the series. If they don't, I'll buy you a drink next time I see you. (Except for you, Thersites. Our usual bet applies.)

8 comments:

Eli said...

I hate Reality TV sooooo much. Its very existence diminishes my quality of life, even though I don't watch it.

I have no use for American Idol, and this is not much different, other than that some of us know who these people used to be.

Thers said...

One dollar!

Wait... we're not the Dukes, are we?

refinnej said...

The ONLY reason this show is on is because people finally stopped sing "867-5309 Jenny" at me. I FINALLY get peace in my life and what do they do? I'll TELL you what they do. They bring back Tommy fucking Tutone. WHY do they do this? Because God hates me, THAT's why....

Sorry about the rant...

Yeah.. The Knack is going to win.. and the whole point of American Idol is to make everyone the same. It's a feindish plot.

NYMary said...

One dollar!

Wait... we're not the Dukes, are we?


You know the standing bet, baby.... ;)

watertiger said...

Cece PENISton?

ntodd said...

I'd like to know more about the "standing bet". Does it involve a French maid outfit?

cleek said...

i watched "Hit Me..." last night.

as far as I could tell, the bands weren't actually playing the songs - or, at least what we heard wasn't coming entirely from the stage.

Vanilla Ice won.

Missy Vixen said...

Vanilla Ice won.

Shorter cleek:

One must avoid this show like the plague!