Well, it's Friday and you know what that means. Yes, my Oriental arm candy and stress management expert Fah Lo Suee and I will be taking an emergency meeting with the Prince of Darkness, Satan himself. The subject: What the fuck can we do to keep Pat Robertson [R-Insufferable Lunatic] from talking utter shit on his stupid TV show about how the Haitian people made a deal with the Devil?
That being the case, further posting by moi will be sporadic for a day or two.
In the meantime, then, here's a hopefully fun little project for us all:
Most Memorable Drums, Drumming or Drum Simulation on a Post-Elvis Pop or Rock Record!!!
No arbitrary rules here, except no prog-rock or fusion. Seriously, I couldn't care less if Bill Bruford can play in 12/8 or whatever, and if you try to sneak any of that crap onto the list I will come to your house and rip your lungs out with a set of fireplace tongs.
Other than that, though, pretty much anything goes. My own choices here, as you can see, have more to do with sound or vibe or sheer novelty than with great drumming or any musical expertise per se, on the theory that I'm pretty sure we've already done a list featuring more traditional and technically impressive stuff. But like I said -- no arbitrary rules.
And my totally top of my head Top Eight is:
8. Esquerita -- Esquerita and the Voola
An utterly confounding record, beginning with the idea that somebody at Capitol in 1958 actually thought that this howling weirdness could be a hit. That said, although the track's mise-en-scene clearly belongs to its crazed auteur, I think we can all agree that Esquerita would have been nowhere without the credited-on-the-label drumming of Riccardo Young. Kudos and huzzahs to both of them, obviously.
7. Cozy Cole -- Topsy Parts 1 & 2
This was a double sided smash in 1958, although (as you'll note) I've always been partial to the more popular B-side, if only for the spoken introduction, delivered by Cole (one assumes) with just the right note of on-the-nod aplomb. In any case, few who've ever heard this have been able to resist the temptation to drum along with whatever utensils were immediately at hand.
6. The Beatles -- Long Tall Sally
Ringo, making the dawn come up like thunder. The fact that there are still people out there who think he couldn't play just blows my tiny mind.
5. Outkast -- Hey Ya!
Apparently, the video notwithstanding, there is no actual drummer on this, i.e. it's all programmed or computerized or whatever. Frankly, I don't care -- this is one of the most kick-ass tracks of the decade.
4. The Wonders -- Dance With Me Tonight
From That Thing You Do -- Tom Hanks simulacrum Tom Everett Scott as Guy Patterson, my favorite fictional drummer of all time.
3. The Legendary Stardust Cowboy-- Paralyzed
A perennial candidate for worst rock record ever made, obviously, but producer T. Bone Burnett's contribution, as the song's trash-can drum soloist, can't be over-emphasized. Titular star The Ledge (as he is known to his friends) has never had backing as sympathetic.
2. The Rolling Stones -- Honest I Do
A Jimmy Reed cover, and as laid back as that entails, but seriously -- Charlie Watts plays the entire song using only one hand. I'm not making this up -- just listen to it. And if you still don't believe me, get me drunk sometimes and I'll mime to the track and prove the point.
And the numero uno assault on those pagan skins (perhaps only metaphorically) clearly is...
1. The Residents -- The Booker Tease
The least convincing drum machine track ever (assuming it's even that technologically advanced -- it could be the percussion preset from a cheesy Casio keyboard for all I know) and yet there's a pretty cool groove here. In any case, I think I already posted the Flying Lizards' "Money" (which is even more cheesy sounding) in a similar context on another Listomania.
Awrighty then -- what would your choices be?
[*h/t Michael Sorrentino, who actually said it and meant it.]
[Shamless Blogwhore: My parallel Cinema Listomania -- theme: best or worst flicks about insects OR a character named after an insect -- is now up over at Box Office. As always, I'd really appreciate it if you could go over there and leave a comment, thus getting me in good with management. Thanks.]