GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS! Week -- Episode Two: Hope I Die Before I Meet That Asshole Charles Bukowski

You know, to be honest, I was never particularly impressed with Suzi Quatro back in her early 70s glam-rock stardom period. Although in retrospect a lot of her records -- which were hits pretty much everywhere in the civilized world except the USA -- were actually pretty good, as our pal and colleague Kid Charlemagne has testified here over the years.

To me, though -- and I say this despite the fact that my early 70s girlfriend was a refugee from the Detroit rock scene and had lots of stories about Suzi and the rest of her Motor City colleagues -- the only reason I ever particularly took notice was because a) her name actually was Suzi Q (c'mon -- how cool is that?) b) she played Leather Tuscadero, the sister of Fonzie's girlfriend Pinky, on Happy Days and c) there was a credible rumor going around that she (Suzi) and Rick Derringer were in fact the same person.

Seriously -- did YOU ever see the two of them in the same room at the same time?

I think not.

In any case, I knew that Suzi -- and pretty much the rest of her immediate family -- had been in an all-girl 60s Detroit garage band called The Pleasure Seekers in those pre-stardom days...



...but what I am embarrassed to admit I didn't know until last week is that the Pleasure Seekers had released a 45 in 1966 that may in fact be the single most astounding piece of garage rock ever waxed.

Ladies and germs -- behold in breathless wonder "What a Way to Die."





In case you can't quite make out the lyrics through the low-fi mono murk, Suzi is sending the following tender blandishments toward a potential lover (and Iggy, eat your heart out).

Well I love you baby
I’m telling you right here
But please don’t make me decide baby
Between you and a bottle of beer.

Baby come on over,
Come on over to my side
Well I may not live past twenty-one
but WOO!
What a way to die!

Your lovin' fluctuates baby
And everybody knows
But the temperature always stays the same
On an ice cold bottle of Strohs

When I start my drinking
My baby throws a fit
So I just blitz him outta my mind
With seventeen bottles of Schlitz

You’ve got the kind of body
That makes me come alive
But I’d rather have my hands around
A bottle of Colt 45

Baby come on over,
Come on over to my side
Well I may not live past twenty-one
but WOO!
What a way to die

In a word -- wow.

Yes, obviously, the song and the record are kind of a joke. As anybody who ever went to a high school dance back then knows, the Pleasure Seekers probably didn't really want to die before they got old, i,e, before they got laid a lot.

But still...that kind of gonzo nihilism, even if it was a pose they barely understood, was not only unprecedented for a bunch of suburban adolescent gals, but also, clearly, a huge influence in all sorts of unexpected ways on the rest of rock history.

Speaking of which, I think we need to research whether the song's lyrical mention of Strohs, Schlitz and Colt 45 was some kind of innovative product placement or just alcoholic bravado.