Friday, December 05, 2014

Chrissie Hynde Explains It All To You

From the promo material to her 1994 single "Night in My Veins."


1. Don’t moan about being a chick, refer to feminism or complain about sexist discrimination. We’ve all been thrown down the stairs, and f—ed about, but no one wants to hear a whining female. Write a loosely disguised song about it instead and clean up. ($)

2. Never pretend to know more than you do. If you don’t know chord names, refer to the dots. Don’t go near the desk unless you plan on becoming an engineer.

3. Make the other band members look and sound good. Bring out the best in them; that’s your job. Oh, and you better sound good too.

4. Do not insist in [sic] working with “females.” That’s just more b.s. Get the best man for the job. If it happens to a woman, great – you’ll have someone to go to department stores with on tour instead of making one of the road crew go with you.

5. Try not to have a sexual relationship with the band. It always ends in tears.

6. Don’t think that sticking your boobs out and trying to look f—able will help. Remember you’re in a rock and roll band. It’s not “f—me,” it’s “f—you”!

7. Don’t try to compete with the guys; it won’t impress anybody. Remember, one of the reasons they like you is because you don’t offer yet more competition to the already existing male egos.

8. If you sing, don’t “belt” or “screech.” No one wants to hear that sh–; it sounds “hysterical.”

9. Shave your legs, for chrissakes!

10. Don’t take advice from people like me. Do your own thing always.

Yes -- she IS the coolest woman on the planet. Now and eternally.

[h/t Capt. Al]


Mark said...

That's one hell of a no-bullshit-zone manifesto. And the punctuation! End-of-sentence punctuation inside quotation marks always impresses this lad!

And in honor of Chrissie Hynde, I offer Australian Courtney Barnett, whose AVANT GARDENER (see contains more than just a bit of similar bravado, along with a nod to Lou Reed, and a fatigued desperation whose musical source I just can't place.

Great lyric inside, too. "The paramedic thinks I'm clever cause i play guitar, I think she’s clever cause she stops people dying."

Barnett's two Australian EPs are combined on THE DOUBLE EP: A SEA OF SPLIT PEAS, and her two live samplers (one of which is from a Coachella 2014 performance) give you an idea of what she's like live.

Mr. Minimac said...

Amen! Coincidentally (or perhaps not) the WTF podcast with Marc Maron posted a great interview with Ms. Hynde yesterday. The only time that she gets a little short and testy is when a certain (beloved) ex-husband of hers is mentioned and when she is quizzed regarding whether or not Lemmy had his way with her. Highly recommended.

Billy B said...

Love this list and also to Mark - love Courtney B.