Chrissie Hynde Explains It All To You

From the promo material to her 1994 single "Night in My Veins."

CHRISSIE HYNDE'S ADVICE TO CHICK ROCKERS OR "HOW I DID IT"

1. Don’t moan about being a chick, refer to feminism or complain about sexist discrimination. We’ve all been thrown down the stairs, and f—ed about, but no one wants to hear a whining female. Write a loosely disguised song about it instead and clean up. ($)

2. Never pretend to know more than you do. If you don’t know chord names, refer to the dots. Don’t go near the desk unless you plan on becoming an engineer.

3. Make the other band members look and sound good. Bring out the best in them; that’s your job. Oh, and you better sound good too.

4. Do not insist in [sic] working with “females.” That’s just more b.s. Get the best man for the job. If it happens to a woman, great – you’ll have someone to go to department stores with on tour instead of making one of the road crew go with you.

5. Try not to have a sexual relationship with the band. It always ends in tears.

6. Don’t think that sticking your boobs out and trying to look f—able will help. Remember you’re in a rock and roll band. It’s not “f—me,” it’s “f—you”!

7. Don’t try to compete with the guys; it won’t impress anybody. Remember, one of the reasons they like you is because you don’t offer yet more competition to the already existing male egos.

8. If you sing, don’t “belt” or “screech.” No one wants to hear that sh–; it sounds “hysterical.”

9. Shave your legs, for chrissakes!

10. Don’t take advice from people like me. Do your own thing always.

Yes -- she IS the coolest woman on the planet. Now and eternally.


[h/t Capt. Al]