Friday, June 24, 2016

Weekend Listomania (Special The Name of the [Axl] Rose Edition)

Well, it's Friday, and you know what that means. Yes, my Oriental manual catharsis engineer campaign strategist Fah Lo Suee and I will be off to Trump Tower in Manhattan, where we plan to ring Donald Tiny Hands' doorbell and run, as often as we can get away with it.

That being the case, posting will obviously be out of the question for a couple of days. So to wile away the hours until we return (or raise bail, which ever comes first) here's a fun little project for us all:

Best (Never Actually Used By Anybody Before in Real Life) Band Name That You Would Use Now If You Were Actually to Start a Band!!!

Given the inherent ridiculousness of the premise, there will be no arbitrary rules enforced this week. So just go for it!

And my totally Top of My Head Top Three are:

3. Ziggy Simels and the Gay Guys From Outer Space

As you can see from the above photo, I was actually considering using that one back in the 70s. It still has a ring to it, I think.

2. Les Poseurs

For the obvious reason that the above photo would make a great album cover.

And the number one best band name of all time that's never been used (to our knowledge), it's no contest so don't even try to top it, indisputably is...

1. Lynyrd Byrnstyn

(Pronounced 'Lĕh-'nérd...oh well, you know.)

Alrighty then -- what would your candidates be?


Anonymous said...

Hello, please remain seated,

Had I ever formed a punk band, I would have named it "Plop". That word has always been one of my very favorite onomatopeias and is, I think, an awesome name for a band.


BG in Q said...

That logo looks damn good, and pretty believable, if I say so myself --- :-)

Tommy T said...

"John Holmes and the angry 18 inches"

Leyla said...

Drama in the Trailer Park.

Sam said...

Well hell, I thought I had it sewn up with my psychedelic project-to-be Magic Doo-Doo Machine, but Lynyrd Byrnstyn trumps everything.

buzzbabyjesus said...

King James And The Bible Burners.

pete said...

I've always wanted to front an R&B horn-band called Duke Peacock and the Duckwavers.

Anonymous said...

Naked Ambition


pete said...

One of my favorite things about the film "The Commitments" was the ongoing theme of stupid band names.

J. Loslo said...

When my daughter was about seven, she announced that she thought "Los Hockey Sticks" would be a great band name. She couldn't say why, but I can't say she's wrong.

Anonymous said...

Two real very funny band names: "$27 Snap on Face" & "Rubber Chicken Rebellion".

It's scary to think there are not one but two "The Weasels".

Vickie: I thought "Naked Ambition" was the title of your autobiography. (Sorry sweetie I couldn't resist!)

But for me I have to vote for Pete's "Duke Peacock and the Duckwavers". That totally works for me!!!

Captain Al

Alzo said...

I was in several punk bands in Chicago in the 80s and delighted in what is now known as 'branding.' We started out sharing loft space with a band named DOG AT LARGE. They were trolling for a new identity and I suggested FAYE RAYGUN. A week later, they were NAKED RAYGUN and went on to some underground success.
I named my band TOOTHPASTE because I wanted us to be a household name on everybody's lips. When we changed lineups and re-branded, our bass player, the legendary Camilo, quipped that we should become TOOTHPASTE MELLENCAMP.
Trying really hard to come up with the most ludicrous metal name we could think of, we played several gigs as STAR SHARK, before finally becoming DEVIL LUGGAGE. The rest is obscurity...

Alzo said...

Oh, and the band name that I always wanted to use: CASUAL TEASE

Fred said...

Gonna be hard for anyone to beat Lynyrd Byrnstyn!

I've always liked the idea of naming a band Coming Soon... If only for the poster saying, "COMING SOON... Coming Soon!"

M_Sharp said...

Jacques Strap

Smokey Burnout

Alzo said...

If you never want to get booked, name your band FREE BEER.

Anonymous said...

Slipper Pistons
The Upshot
Harlot Moon
The Moan Pies
Isadora's Scarf
Latex Poppy
Trampolina Whambang


Jai Guru Dave said...

My son, when he was about 11 or 12, and couldn't play any instrument, said he wanted to start a band called "Veal on a Stick". True story!
About 3 years later, he decided to become a vegetarian, which he has been ever since.
So the name is available, if anyone wants it.

Jai Guru Dave said...

My current favorites:

Attractive Nuisance (also the title of my long-awaited forthcoming autobiography, by the way)

The Sad Old Padres

Live Band (We were once billed as that, and literally no one showed up. If people had known that it was us, I could understand them staying away. But just from "Live Band"? How did they know??)

Mark said...

It’s hard to beat Lynyrd Byrnstyn, or Brian Jonestown Massacre for that matter, but these are my tries.

The Governor George Patooties.
George Bernard Shawshank Redemption.
Jerking Movements of the Arms and Legs (formerly The F. Scott Seizure-like Fits).
Trump Tower of Babel.
The Bakus (formerly The Azerbaijani-Come-Latelies).

Anonymous said...

Bunny Kincaid and the Lust Proctologists


Remonster said...

Ladies & Gentleman. please welcome, SPASTIC COLON

cthulhu said...

Tonight! One show only..."Snort My Taint"! (hat tip to the great Popehat blog)

Anonymous said...

Every few years Robert Pollard, leader of Guided By Voices, puts out a vault-clearing box set called SUITCASE; there are four in the series so far, and they're usually 4-CD packages with around 100 tracks total. One of the interesting aspects of the sets is that he credits most of the songs to fake band names. Some of my favorites are:

Styles We Paid For
Meat Kingdom Group
Judas & The Piledrivers
Champion Hairpuller
Stingy Queens
1st Joint
Tabatha's Flashpot
Nelly & The Dirtfloor
Too Proud To Practice
The Bug Eyed Mums
Apes In The Window
The One Too Many
Mr. Inspection Table
The Beautiful Orange Lemonade
Mother's Day Haircut
The Constant Rushing Forward
Knuckles & MacDougal
The Dashing Plumbers
No Equal

...and my all-time favorite:

Arthur Psycho & The Trippy Warts

You can see a complete list for the first three box sets, if you're interested, on

J. Lag

Jai Guru Dave said...

My wife says her band name would be: "Clean Phil Wanted"

Wait.... Is that a subliminal message to me??

rob said...

15 in 1966.
We briefly performed as...Joe Prune and the Diarrheas.
Our lead guitar player went on to engineer for Neil Young,Don Henley

Sal Nunziato said...

Earth, Wind & More Wind

Ken Filmer said...

"Ivy and the Drips" or "Tipsy Wobblers"