Tuesday, June 25, 2024

A Desperate Cry for Help

[Okay, you younger folks (if you're out there) -- I really need you to give me the proverbial hand. Read on and you'll understand why. -- S.S.]

So. As is not exactly a secret, when I'm not hanging out here, I'm often lurking/posting over at a certain left-wing political blog whose name I won't mention, but whose initials are Eschaton.

I've been a regular there going back to the 'aughts, and in fact, it's where I first encountered the original proprietor of this here blog, NYMary. I've also made several other long-lasting off-line/real world friendships at said location and, if truth be told, it's actually where I met and fell in love with a certain Shady Dame who's been mentioned here from time to time.

In any event, as you can gather, it's been a big part of my life for quite a while, and I owe its head honcho -- nom du blog Atrios -- more than I can put into words.

That said, the aforementioned Atrios is also semi-legendary for his utterly appalling taste in music. It's been a running gag over there for as long as I can remember, starting with the old days when he would put up videos by what I used to refer to as "whey-faced Brit prog-rockers".

Hey -- if you like those kinda bands, god bless, but I had fun taking cheap shots at him and them.

But of late -- starting this year, if memory serves -- he's been foisting clips on us by even whiter bands, and it's beginning to get really creepy.

I mean, all of them sound exactly alike, and when they don't just bore me to scowling fidgets, they actually make me physically ill. To wit.

I'm not kidding -- the above makes me slightly nauseous, which is a reaction I've never had to any music of any kind at any time in my life.

And those guys aren't even the worst. Gimme a minute and I'll find you a more egregious example.

Ah -- here we are.

And here's another one (BTW, a coveted PowerPop No-Prize© will be awarded to any reader/listener who is still hanging in there after enduring those last two clips).

As you can hear, this shit is about as formulaic and twee as can be. Everything has insanely lame drumming (usually beginning with somebody playing with brushes), annoyingly simple arpeggiated guitar licks (sometimes executed on mandolin or uke), cutesy/affectless little girl vocals (sometimes, but not always, nasally harmonized) and pretentious/gobbledeegook lyrics that inevitably recall some sensitive teenager who has underlined verses in a thin volume of poetry and written "how true!" in the margins.

Also, one of the singers usually plays one-finger keyboards with sampled violin sounds or something similar half way through the song. Oh, and there are occasional very serious string, sax and flute players lurking about, and nobody in any of the bands seems to have the slightest interest in acknowledging the audience.

Have I mentioned that on top of everything else, the music is utterly and frighteningly sexless?

In any event, the end product just makes me, in the immortal words of Dorothy Parker about Winnie the Pooh, want to fwow up.

And I mean that literally. Which, as I said, is something that has never previously happened to me when listening to music.

Okay -- to finally get to the point: can somebody out there please -- PUHLEEZE -- tell me what this shit is called?

By which I mean -- what genre? What syle? There's gotta be a name for it, given how many bands are playing it.

In other words: Exactly how the fuck do the youngs -- who I assume are the audience (Atrios notwithstanding) for whatever it is -- describe it to the rest of us suffering mortals?

I await your replies with breathless anticipation.

Thank you.

31 comments:

Ursus Americanus said...

Being a regular at Eschaton, I cannot tell you the genre but I no longer listen to the songs because it interferes with my sleep.

Gummo said...

1) All these songs sound like introductions to songs - as if any minute now, they're going to break out and start playing SOMETHING with some oomph to it. But it never happens.

2) What a waste of electric guitars, giant drum kits, big-ass amplifiers and endless arrays of pedals! It's almost insulting to all the real garage rockers out there who'd kill to be able to afford some of that stuff.

3) I think the musicians are all trying o-so-hard to look cool, but they just look bored. Soooo bored. Check out the drummer in the last clip. He'd rather be anywhere else, playing Louie Louie like a loon.

4) The Dilletante track at least had a slightly more interesting arrangement than the usual. I guess that's something.



Allan Rosenberg said...

"Sonics" where are you when we need you? !!!

I don't know what this music is called but I shall call it "Mope Rock". There's not a lot of testosterone in it is there?

That's the best I've got at the moment, sorry to let all of you down. ;-)


Captain Al

Sal Nunziato said...

My old business partner and some of his friends use to listen to this crap and then give me a hard time about Todd Rundgren and traditional New Orleans jazz. These clips make Belle & Fucking Sebastian sound like Danzig.

Gummo said...

Oh, I forgot to say:

I blame 10,000 Maniacs.

steve simels said...

Friends have just come up with "Un-Rock" and "Open-Mic Night Rock."

Gummo said...

You know who I blame for this stuff?

10,000 Maniacs, that's who.

Prove me wrong@

dmark said...

Gummo’s point number one is dead on. I keep waiting for some rock and roll to happen…..it never does.

steve simels said...

Gummo -- I like 10,000 Maniacs but I hate to admit you're right. I can definitely hear them in this current shit,

FD13NYC said...

These kids today, I tell you! They know nothing about real music, get a fart in their brains with a sort of a beat to keep time and that's what's presented. Hey, it's worked for Billie Eyelash, and she has a bunch of Grammys and two Oscars, which is beyond my comprehension. Doesn't, and has never worked for me. It's called boring angst dreaming dirge music.

ChrisE said...

Captain Al,

"Mope Rock" ? How about "Nope Rock" ? Or "No Hope Rock" ?

:-)

mistah charley, sb, ma, phd, jsps said...

"Why Bonnie is an American indie rock band from Austin, Texas. Their musical style has been described as shoegaze-icana" - Wikipedia - presumably the "icana" is from "Americana"

"Dilettante is an art-rock collective led by multi-instrumentalist Francesca Pidgeon and is based in Northern England. Primarily a guitarist and singer but, owing to a lack of social skills, she taught herself clarinet, saxophone, piano, bass and trumpet and bought a loop pedal in an attempt to avoid human contact." --YouTube

nothing specific was found by me about ms youngs' genre of music - regarding her sexuality, she's said she's "really gay" - recently her second wife gave birth to a son -- Wikipedia

over the weekend spouse and self watched the movie "hit man" on a streaming service - there's a repeated gag - the main character is sitting at a table in a diner with a piece of pie in front of him, someone newly arrived asks "how the pie?" and he responds "all pie is good pie"

similarly, one could say "all music is good music" with a broad enough definition of "good music" - as sylvester stewart memorably put it - "different strokes for different folks"

as firesign theatre said, "THIS is the future - you got to LIVE it, or LIVE WITH it"

- and at a time to be determined, make one's exit

BG said...

I refuse to call it “rock” … what’s the opposite of “rock” … “sludge”?

Allan Rosenberg said...

ChrisE:

Very, very good!!!

Captain Al

Allan Rosenberg said...

The 21st Century has already left us far behind! And I think I'm alright with that.

Captain Al

paulinca said...

What was the review, again of Shark Sandwich? This fits...

paulinca

edward said...

I think Atrios has a thing for cute chicks singing. I remember lots of Kpop and Jpop.

Sounds to me like 4am fog music. As in you've been out and about until about 4am, have to get up again at six and there is this stuff playing in the background that you can' figure out, but at least it won't keep you awake.

There's a big world of music. You don't have to hit the play button.

Anonymous said...

What am I, chopped liver?
— Suzanne Vega

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm. I love my X, Ramones, Scratch Acid, Lard, Thee Headcoats, and Sonics, and a million other loudniks. But I also love Galaxie 500, Vulgar Boatmen, Nick Drake, and, yes, some Belle & Sebastian (If this doesn't raise the specter of prime Sunset Strip-era Love, then disregard anything I say: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoD2HRN4G6k), among other purveyors of quieter contexts. This isn't an old vs young thing, maybe it's a stuck vs open-minded thing wherein the latter don't automatically equate 'rock' with hirsute macho prototypes skronking their way into demigod status (I'm also one of those apparently freakish folks that has no problem with the R&R Hall of Fame's rather liberal definition of 'rock', even if I regularly disagree with their choices to represent it). Of the three you offered up, to me the first was meh, the second was downright annoying, and I liked the third one. But therein lies the thing: sometimes things work for ya, sometimes they don't, sometimes they do sometimes but not other times (We've all revisited stuff that didn't grab us the first or first 20 times we heard it but now we can't figure out what we missed, initially).
You're all free to see the posted stuff as unworthy, of course, and even to see it all as part of a (lame, anemic, testosterone-deprived) trend; and PP's readers are likely some of the most experienced listeners out there, so I respect the chiming in. I guess I like it better, tho, when someone says "This doesn't work for me because I like loud (or whatever) rock", rather than "this sucks because I don't like it". To be clear, Simels did list why his examples didn't work for him, and that's what I can work with (by agreeing or not with his points).
(the definitely aged) C in California

steve simels said...

C in California:

As I've said on numerous occasions, there's no accounting for taste, including my own.

Anonymous said...

I like Hope Rock because I've said these videos he posts always have people holding electric guitars who refuse to play them. Yes, they sound like an intro that never resolves to an actual song.

DannyGuam

Alzo said...

I dunno. Adding an air-guitarist and an air-drummer might improve them +/- 1%.

Tralfaz Wizard said...

Waifwave. If someone hasn't already coined it.
I treat things song by song, and there's not 0% chance that any particular song is not going to do anything for me. (If any of them happened to take inspiration from say, Stevie Nicks, the Pretenders or Everything But the Girl, which is not a 0% proposition, they might have a pretty good chance of connecting with me).
That said, Tralfette, my 16yo, takes voice and guitar lessons, as do some of her friends. Girls were not doing this in large numbers in the 80s. I think it's a great thing. I look forward to the spectrum of music that her generation produces, no matter what the genre or instrumentation.

Sal Nunziato said...

"I guess I like it better, tho, when someone says "This doesn't work for me because I like loud (or whatever) rock", rather than "this sucks because I don't like it"."

@ C In California,

I think a third option, and I am serious, should be something along the lines of, "This sucks, but you can enjoy it all you'd like."

I mean, haven't you ever recognized when something was awful but still you loved it anyway? I think it's more common with film.

Dave Leonatti said...

Meander Pop

Slight Rock

Tinpot said...

I'm with C in Cal. The 1st one was lame (I think. I've forgotten it already) The 2nd was awful and truly vomit-inducing. The 3rd I liked, although a little more energy wouldn't go amiss.

Jonathan F. King said...

A pal of mine has long worked for the music-tagging service Gracenote, his charge being to identify recordings that meet the criteria for this or that genre or subgenre, and ensure that they're categorized accordingly, lest your car radio misinform you. I've forwarded this column to him in hopes Gracenote has invented a genre name for this crap that I can post here.

paulinca said...

I don't know how many opening acts I've sat through that sound like this. Maybe I'm becoming Clint Eastwood on a lawnchair but damn, this stuff is limp, lifeless and worse, soulless. The 10,000 Maniacs comments are hysterical...

paulinca

pete said...

This is what happens when the blues goes out of fashion.

Jonathan F. King said...

Well, never mind. My pal at Gracenote (mentioned two or three responses up) was let go this morning after 19 years with the company, which is "outsourcing" the genre-ID function as it pivots to other priorities. So whoever does eventually name this sickly genre may have to rely on more-primitive media to spread the news.

steve simels said...

Jonathan F. King --

Your friend seems to be victim to the same corporate bullshit that yesterday moved Paramount/Viacom to scrub the entire MTV archive from its website.

A gal I know wrote for MTV News for years, and she's devastated to find that her entire ouevre has completely disappeared.