Monday, December 12, 2011

Annals of Career Suicide (An Occasional Series)

Ever watch something and go "You gotta be fucking kidding me"?

Seriously -- forget the ripped t-shirt/crawling across the floor Flashdance stuff. But the skipping/aerobics?/wrist-waving moves Squier does here are SOOO sexy I can't imagine why guys all over the country aren't trying to do them in front of their bedroom mirrors to this very day.

Okay, actually I can. Two words: Ed Grimley.

And this, from Squier's Wiki entry, is particularly delicious:
"Rock Me Tonite" was Squier's biggest Pop hit. It reached #15 on Billboard's Hot 100, as well as #1 on the Album Rock Tracks chart in late 1984. However, the video for the track (directed by Kenny Ortega), which shows Squier dancing around a bedroom in a pink tank top, was named by Video GaGa as one of "The worst videos of all time". On the VH1 show Ultimate Albums (Def Leppard's "Pyromania" episode), Squier blamed the end of his career as a chart-topping rocker on the release of the "Rock Me Tonite" video.


[h/t Laura G.]


FD13NYC said...

I liked him better when was with Piper. But he must have made a few bucks doing the solo crap. Actually, one, maybe two songs were tolerable. Not this one.

Shriner said...

I loved (and still do, actually) the Don't Say No album.

Emotions In Motion was a decent foliow-up, but I have to say that video for Rock Me Tonight really *did* kill my enthusiasm for his music.

He might have been better off being one of those artists who was slow to the video revolution.

buzzbabyjesus said...

I got through 1:29. Utterly horrifying. Creepy. Cringe inducing. Was MTV a terrible mistake?

Here's a video worth watching:

"Rubber Johnny" by Aphex Twin:

It strikes me that it's all the things I said about "Rock Me Tonite", except in a good way.

Anonymous said...

As you are wont to say, Simels: "Wow.
Just wow."

Catherine said...

Where in hell do you get these things? This is the strangest of all. Puzzling: He keeps ripping off his tee shirt, the picture dissolves, and then he's wearing TWO tee shirts, layered. I couldn't watch it all the way through.

steve simels said...

The irony -- if that is the word -- is that the song itself is not completely terrible. Okay, that "guilty of love in the 3rd degree" line ain't so hot, but the thing is undeniably hooky.

TMink said...

It does really suck as a video, but there is a bigger problem: dude can't move without looking overly twee.

Now this would not be a problem in another world. Jerry Garcia was not a great dancer, Page can't sing, and Robert Wyatt can't even walk. But none of them let some producer talk them into doing something that they can't and then putting it on video.

So it all comes back to Squier as I see it. Maybe it was too much cocaine in his brain telling him that everything he did was fabulous, but he should have never, never allowed this released in the current, ghastly form.

No loss from my perspective, I thought he looked like a huge asshat in all his videos.


Brooklyn Girl said...

Learned all his moves from Jerry Lewis, apparently ...

Jai Guru Dave said...

The moves remind me of Freddie Mercury. And I don't mean that as a compliment.

The video ruins what is really a very good song. I always liked the record (having never seen the video); but now...

Anonymous said...

way too funny - LOL LOL LOL
the guy is an asswipe

Anonymous said...

Creepier then Ed Wood Jr. movies.

The popular culture of the early eighties really sucked.


Karatist Preacher said...

That video always was a head-scratcher. Lots of people involved must have gone temporarily insane.

Anonymous said...

definitrly a case of video killed the radio star.

Noam Sane said...

If you've ever seen any of the early unreleased videos that Springsteen did for Dancing in the Dark, you have to assume he was aware of the dangers of poofy video dancing.

Seriously, look it up for a laugh - I'm pretty sure they're out there somewhere.