Monday, August 05, 2013

Monday Shameless Cheap Shot Filler (An Occasional Series)

ESSAY QUESTION: Michael Bolton is the kind of singer who makes you really appreciate Darryl Hall.

Also: When Bolton sings the above song, is he actually singing it to his hair? [Ten bonus points]


[h/t Glen "Bob" Allen]


MJConroy said...

Steve - did you write this entry?:

buzzbabyjesus said...

From the very first sound I was utterly repulsed. Who picked that keyboard sound and said,"This sounds good!"?
He is to Rod Stewart what Guy Fieri is to Anthony Bourdain.

steve simels said...

I actually knew the guy who got Bolton signed. Lets just say he pretty much had a nervous breakdown for a number of reasons.

Trust me--however awful you think the music biz is, it's worse.

MJConroy said...

Office Space quotes:
Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ee-ana-jaad. Nayanajaad.
Michael Bolton: Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.
Samir: You know there's nothing wrong with that name.
Michael Bolton: There was nothing wrong with it... until that no-talent ass clown became famous and started winning Grammys.
Samir: Hmm... well why don't you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change? He's the one who sucks.

Wendy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brooklyn Girl said...

My idea of hell: a triple bill of Bolton, Connick, Buble.

Anonymous said...

Well, the hair's gone. How's about we poke out his eyes now.

But this says it best:

Vickie Rock

Anonymous said...

Like Richard Marx, Bolton sucks really hard. This glossy production is what made me hate the Eighties so much. It sorely dates many recordings made during the decade.

It's no wonder bland bands with limited ability like U2 and R.E.M. were hailed as great. There wasn't much else going on.

To be sure Bolton sucks, but the production and keys of Michael O'Martian is equally sucky. I hate that guy. Everything he touches turns to dreck.

Vickie Rock

Alzo said...

I can't help but be reminded of one quip long ago in Stereo Review (was it yours, Steve?) about someone's singing being reminiscent of "Robert Goulet moaning and groaning about his orange juice being too warm."

danny1959 said...

Why the cheap shot at Daryl Hall?

Brooklyn Girl said...

It's not a shot at Darryl Hall. Simels likes Darryl Hall.

Anonymous said...

A well-preserved girlfriend of mine from Napa was a huge fan of his. In the early 2000's she became his regular stop when passing through the area.

For what it's worth, she gave him rave reviews. Not sure if it's still going on. Lost contact with her circa 2007.

Like his TV show on Palladia and Sacred Songs still knocks me out.

I took Steve's remark as a cheap shot at Daryl too. You know, like saying Bolton was even worse than Daryl Hall. But I guess we misunderstood.

Also Bolton has done some great things for charity for which he should be commended.

Vickie Rock

Anonymous said...

Oh, and Fudley Correctol points out that it's Daryl Hall, not "Darryl Hall." At least, that's the non-Jersey spelling.:-)

Vickie Rock