Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Flogging a Deceased Equine

So I've been noticing -- and I realize that this is an insight that's occurred to everybody else on the planet considerably earlier -- that when discussions about the pop music of the last ten years take place these days it is now all but obligatory to mention that Creed, in fact, suck. I mean, it's almost a reflexive thing at this point. Sort of like, "Hi, nice to see you, and by the way Creed suck."

As I said, I'm late to the party about this, but I find the phenomenon particularly amusing since Creed is one of those bands I went out of my way to avoid back in their day, apparently out of some sort of critical instinct that told me that they would, no question, suck more than even some other really sucky bands that I hadn't had the foresight to avoid. I'm not kidding about this. Although I probably did hear a Creed song on the radio or in a commercial without meaning to over the last decade, I can state categorically that I was never consciously aware of it or them; in fact, apart from their name and the fact that they were sort of famous, absolutely nothing about them had impinged on my consciousness in any meaningful way. Until, that is, our current moment, when decrying their suckitude has reached the status of cultural signifier.

Anyway, I was thinking about this the other day, and so I decided to bite the bullet, get on the bandwagon (however belatedly) and finally listen to and watch one of their hits on YouTube. Which led me to this Lovecraftian horror, live on Leno.



Ye cats, what an unlistenable song. Guess what -- Creed really do suck, probably more than just about anything else has sucked in the history of the universe. Jeebus -- the guitar player alone (don't even get me started on what he's wearing) is enough to ensure them a prominent place in the Trans-Dimensional Things That Completely Suck Hall of Fame.

Man, do they suck.

I could go on about exactly why, of course, but since this kid lays it all out for you in such laborious detail, I've decided I don't have to. In any case, I would like to state for the record that -- in recognition of his invaluable service -- I would like to meet him someday, if not quite shake his hand.

14 comments:

MasterD, damn yankee said...

OT, but steve, have you had a chance to give the new NYC station (WRXP) a listen yet?

To my (admittedly pedestrian) ears, they do a good mix.

What's your take?

steve simels said...

I tune into it a couple of times a day just to see what they're up to, and so far I agree with you. Last segue I heard was from "Let It Bleed" to a recent Beastie Boys song. Made sense to me...

BlakNo1 said...

I'd sooner listen to Stryper.

steve simels said...

BlakNo1 said...
I'd sooner listen to Stryper


To hell with the Devil!!!!!
:-)

Kid Charlemagne said...

I remember seeing people with t-shirts that said "Even Jesus Hates Creed" ;>

TMink said...

Wow, I did not like the video, I agree with the critiques I have read, but I kinda enjoy Creed. Damn it is embarassing to admit this. I guess I found a guilty pleasure in music. I used to think I had no guilty pleasure bands as all the music I liked was great!

Creed is not great, and they apparently SUCK greatly live, with the pretentious posing and overdramatic singing and phrasing, but I still kinda like the stuff on the first two records.

Well, at least I found my guilty pleasure! Now that I think of it, I only like the first two Meatpuppet records because they are so bloody awful, so I have TWO guilty pleasures!

Trey (who is sending back his Powerpop no prize awards in recognition of this lameness on his part)

steve simels said...

Trey --

Actually, to be fair, I've heard worse.
:-)

Which is the punchline to some shaggy dog story I seem to have forgotten.....

Brooklyn Girl said...

They suck so much they killed YouTube! The little circle and the time indicator are going crazy ...

Seriously, I'm glad I can't hear this on my computer at work. Just looking at the lead singer makes me want to smack him.

My code word is "poobyd" ... the first syllable says it all.

Cleveland Bob said...

Gee thanks for having me watch that, Steve.

If I'm not mistaken, his "arms were wide open" for Jeebus, yes?

I had heard that they played this dreck at a particularly orgiastic moment of one of those Promise Keeper circle jerk events.

A friend of mine infiltrated a PK show for the sole purpose of disruption and was so dumbfounded by the burning stoopid that all he could do was to sit there agape with wonder.

Also, didn't Scott Stapp get busted in a tour bus hooker video with Kid Rock?

steve simels said...

The singer was boinking hookers?

I don't think the lord would approve...I'll check on it, though.

steve simels said...

Well, they weren't hookers, but I still don't think jeebus is pleased.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11396775/

Cleveland Bob said...

Nice work, Steve. You're a regular Miss Marple.

Hookers or no, this is awfully whore-y. His voice sounds like that weird guy from Crash Test Dummies.

http://www.scottstappfoundation.com/

steve simels said...

Cleveland Bob:

Bringing hope to children?

I didn't realize that's what was going on in the back of the tour bus...
:-)

Anonymous said...

I recommend reading the Creed Sucks List ("lay it all out for you"). It is the funniest music criticism I've read in years!!! "Fuck" "Shit" & "Bitch"!!!

I've felt the same way about many music acts through the years but never had the balls to set it down in print so passionately, forcefully and funny. Please read it! Check out the elephant graphic.


ROTP(lumber)