In any case, posting by moi will necessarily be sporadic for a few days.
But in my absence, here's a fun project for you all to contemplate:
Stupidest Post-Beatles Band Name Ever!!!
Self-explanatory, obviously, so no arbitrary rules this time, except it has to be a real band that actually charted. Some guys you knew in college named Rubella and the Dead Little Girl who played one gig at a frat party in 1988 don't count. Okay? Oh, and by stupid, I basically mean that the people who thought it up thought it was cool at the time, but they were sadly mistaken.
Thank you. And apologies if I've done this category before -- I'm old, I'm overstressed, and I'm totally out of gingko biloba.
Okay, here's my totally top of my head Top Five:
5. Spandau Ballet
These guys were the lamest ever, but the name was the last straw. Seriously -- why not Auschwitz Mambo? Or Treblinka Gavotte?
Assholes.
4. Shadowfax
Trust me, I thought this was a stupid name before I saw Lord of the Rings. And man, was that disconcerting -- "Why is there a horse in this movie named after a crappy 90s New Age band?"
3. Anthrax
Oh yeah, real cool -- name yourself after one of the all time loathsome diseases. Although, I must admit that after the post-9/11 anthrax attacks, I thought the new name they gave themselves -- Basket Full of Puppies -- was pretty funny.
2. Tool
I was going to go with Limp Bizkit, for obvious reasons, but on reflection I think this is even dumber. Dudes, why not just call yourself pud, for crying out loud.
And the number one dopey rock band name, c'mon, you're thinking exactly the same thing, obviously is --
1. Whitesnake
Racist, sexist and sublimely stupid. It's like the Trifecta of Embarassing Crap.
Awrighty then -- what would your choices be?
[Shameless Blogwhore: My parallel Cinema Listomania -- theme: most memorable adaptations of a literary classic -- is now up over at Box Office. As always, if you could see your way to going over there and leaving a comment, it would help convince management that I'm worth the exorbitant freelance rate I'm charging them. Thanks!]
49 comments:
If it's not Toad the Wet Sprocket, well, I just don't know what to think about you people.
C'mon ... whaddya say? Can I get an amen?
There were several psychedelically-challenged band names that were pretty awful: Strawberry Alarm Clock and 1910 Fruit Gum Company come immediately to mind.
And the Raspberries? C'mon, that's a name for a girl group. Career suicide.
Toad the Wet Sprocket is pretty awful, too. I agree.
The Innocence Mission.
I'm on a mission...to find my innocence. Come along, and revel in my tragic introspection. There will be peasant dresses and crappy songs about grandmothers.
I was going to mention Toad, but can come up with five more--in no particular order of ridiculousness--of recent, or relatively recent, vintage.
1) Hoobastank
2) Hootie and the Blowfish
3) The Red Jump Suit Apparatus
4) The Airborne Toxic Event (discussed a few months previous on this blog. MBowen's brief critique of their modern rock mega-annoyance, "Sometime Around Midnight", was, for my money, the review of 2008.)
And no list of horrid band names is complete without
5) Kajagoogoo
When I was in college, I wanted to do a show on the college radio station under the name "Robert W. Anthrax".
They weren't into the "punk" thing then, though, so it didn't fly. If I'd waited another year or so...
Strawberry Alarm Clock and 1910 Fruit Gum Company come immediately to mind.
Lothar and the Hand People, to name but a few...
And let us not forget the United States of America, a band which our Esteemed Host saw, IIRC, in college...
What's a "shmeekel?"
Am I putting a target on my head if I say The Band? I mean, jeeez, could you be a little more self-important?
Thank you, BG.
... and Hoobastank.
Great gobs a spit, what were they on to there?
May I just say, too, that, although I groove to Mexican Radio as much as the next guy, the name Wall of Voodoo brings me the quease.
Add any number of Hair/Metal bands e.g. Slayer, Poison, etc.
Yes
Mott the Hoople, although the freak show reference seems appropriate.
Hoobastank, Hootie, Kajagoogoo... TJWood got them all, so I'm left with Barenaked Ladies, which reeks of infantilism.
While I agree about the name of Spandau Ballet, I must admit to liking their song Muscle Bound. I am not sure why, but there it is.
Trey
dave™© said...
And let us not forget the United States of America, a band which our Esteemed Host saw, IIRC, in college...
I did indeed. However, I did not see their successor band, whose name I remain ambivalent about -- Joseph Byrd and the Field Hippies.
Incidentally, I did also see Lothar and the Hand People open for the Byrds in 1966, and despite the crappy name, they were, who as exciting, musically interesting and charismatic a group as I have ever had the pleasure to encounter.
Hmm...I think I need to do a Fun with Downloads on those guys....
Clandestine Whiz.
(They opened for my band in 1983)
The name Blodwyn Pig always cracked me up. I'm sure it had some historical significance, but it just made me laugh.
In terms of sheer stupidity and laziness, though, nothing tops The The and Mr. Mister.
I'm glad Hoobastank has been roundly dissed, name and all. Every time I hear that mewling vocal on "The Reason" a little piece of my soul chews on tin foil.
Toad the Wet Sprocket is kind of dumb, but at least they had the Python reference going for them.
butthole surfers
A-Ha
Goo Goo Dolls.
Dead Kennedys.
Red Hot Chili Peppers.
you're slipping, steve.
you let a perfectly legitimate opportunity to work in a reference to the smashing pumpkins slip right through your fingers.
are you feeling okay?
Smashing Pumpkins? Maybe my top ten...
:-)
adam & the ants
bush tetras
fine young cannibals
bananarama
Jesus Jones
Hairclub 100
bow wow wow
flock of seagulls
How about the Pendletones?
bands with un-google-able names! 'the go', 'the action', 'them' and most recently the black protopunk band from 1975 detroit 'death'. grrrr! (though i *do* realize that adding the word 'myspace' will occasionally alleviate my perturbed state)
I'm astonished nobody's mentioned the band who's name, in my opinion, set's the standard for stupidity - The The
I don't care if they're the second coming of The Beatles, if that's the best you can come up with for a name I simply couldn't buy any of your material. Who knows, I might like it and may wish to recommend it to someone but there's no way I could say that idiotic name out loud
As far as powerpop bands go, I would have to say The Windbreakers.
Where they named after a jacket or for passing gas?
Where they named after a jacket or for passing gas?
Yes.
How about the Pendletones?
They were just trying to get free shirts!
I kind of like Spandau Ballet - it reminds me of one of my favorite band names: Trotsky Icepick. And Toad The Wet Sprocket, while silly, was at least taken from a Monty Python gag.
I agree with TJ Wood's list above, as well as others mentioned upthread like The Band, The Innocence Mission (kind of like the band, but the name is kind of icky), and The Goo Goo Dolls.
Other awful names are the stupid ones that are supposed to epater those poor, benighted bourgeoisie, like Anal Cunt, Cannibal Corpse, and Necrophagist.
I give you ... Sigue Sigue Sputnik.
... and they weren't even Russian.
There was a band that played CBGB's 20=25 yrs ago named "John Galt".
Bloodrock
Atomic Chicken
Toe Fat
Somebody Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin
Dashboard Confessional
The Winkies
Oysterband
Toe Fat.
Dear god, I'd forgotten that one.
:-)
I'll give megisi an Amen. Only ones I can think of to add are:
Pacific Gas & Electric
The Turtles
The Electric Prunes
Government Mule
Not their music was bad, but the names were kind of stupid.
Oh, and speaking of Smashing Pumpkins, I saved this link for you Steve, in case you missed it. If you scroll down a bit they have a little anecdote about Billy Corgan testifying to Congress.
Pezband.
Mudcrutch -- a terrific band howsomever.
People! -- that's their freakin' exclamation point, not mine -- and their biggest hit, "I Love You" is similarly annoying.
"I Love You"
That's a Zombies tune, innit?
Ultimate Spinach
Mother Earth & The Final Solution
(both sixties Bay Area bands)
The Oneders
Mumblin' Jim
(fictional bands from movies)
Screaching Weasel
We got to Sunday and no one mentioned The Very Idea Of Fucking Hitler? How did that happen?
Because that's the BEST BAND NAME EVER.
Of course, there also was a band named Fuck. How could there not be?
Lords of Acid.
Funny as hell, though.
A couple more for your consideration:
AIDS Wolf
Cancer Bats
The people in these bands should get fucked.
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