Tuesday, June 13, 2023

Boy, Do I Not Miss the '70s (An Occasional Series)

The Eagles. "The Disco Strangler," from The Long Run (1979).

Gevalt. In the immortal words of Danny Akroyd as Leonard Pinth-Garnell -- "Thoroughly bad."

BTW, I bring this up because while digging up stuff for my forthcoming greatest hits book, I chanced across this pan I did of the album in question for SR.

I really don't believe this record. Yes, against all expectations (for this they labored three years?), here is still more monied angst, lame social commentary, and overproduction from the Eagles, who apparently are convinced that what the world needs now is a tuneless, turtle-tempoed essay on the human condition from the perspective of five very rich, very bored Angelenos.

Here, for example is a potentially good idea for a song about a mass murderer at Studio 54 ("The Disco Strangler") that makes the most obvious points imagineable about loneliness and alientation. Here's an unbearably smug attempted dissection of the casting couch mentality ("King of Hollywood") rendered in a manner so laid-back it approaches the catatonic. Here's a song about the good old days of hanging out at the Troubador Bar ("Sad Cafe") that is guaranteed to be of absolutely no interest to anyone outside the Eagles immediate circle of friends. Here's a watery love song pasted together from snippets of old George Benson records ("I Can't Tell You Why") and the most tired-sounding bit of blues-based rock ("Heartache Tonight") they have yet essayed. Here's a vaguely funny evocation of mid-Sixties frat-house partying ("The Greeks Don't Want No Freaks") that is supposed to be a throwaway yet ironically has more life than anything else in the package. Here are tedium, a total waste of the not inconsiderable talents of Joe Walsh, and the sound of a band with nothing to say, but saying it at incredible length ("King of Hollywood" runs more than six minutes).

In sum, the Eagles' The Long Run is the most pointless vinyl extrusion of 1979, with the possible exception of The Georgie Jessel Disco Album, which I understand A&M is readying in the wake of their success with a similar venture by Ethel Merman. Like I said, I really don't believe this record. -- S.S.

To which I can only add -- heh.

9 comments:

M. Bouffant said...

I'll say it: Adenoidal male honky harmonies are horrid.

And you know a band is crummy when the only listenable things on an album are the throwaways.

Anonymous said...

Don Henley Must Die!!!

VR

The worst of the worst. An indictment on cocaine.

Alzo said...

"Tuneless, turtle-tempoed..." is brilliant (with apologies to Flo & Eddie)!

Allan Rosenberg said...

The Eagles were not terrible, just extremely boring with a few exceptions.

Their record sales should have been about the same level as Poco. Poco was better, just not as sexy to the listening public.

Captain Al

dorethyroad@aol.com said...

Al - I actually own the Poco double disc. I went to college with a woman who grew up with Ritchie (Ohio).
Sorry to say the comparison is nil. Eagles just wrote better songs. Thankfully their efforts were not compromised like Robertson.
rob

edward said...

Gack, that was awful. Fine example of when you are so popular no one can tell you "No."

getawaygoober said...

Makes you wonder why Felder and Frey had the red-ass for each other. Jealous divas?

SteveS said...

Humorous headline aside, I propose that the music of the 1980s was even worse.

cthulhu said...

I remember reading this one when first published…Agree The Long Run sucks, although in addition to “Greeks”, I also like “Those Shoes”; just a good guitar-dominated rocker in the vein of “Victim of Love” from the previous album. And except for that song, I agree with the total waste of Joe Walsh; the original version of “In the City” was way better than the one here.

More generally though, I don’t really get the Eagles hate; yeah, Henley and Frey spent lots of time being dicks, but each album (except TLR) had at least three or four good songs, and the occasional great song. And I find their vocals to be very good and sometimes great - Glyn Johns has some stories in his autobiography, where he says he didn’t get them until he heard them do something a capella - then he decided he had to produce them, which he did for two-and-a-half albums.

But what do I know - I don’t get The Beach Boys and can’t stand Springsteen, but I love Southside Johnny and Willy DeVille! :-)