I’m in a bit of a crisis right now, so posting is likely to be light until I get used to the idea that the lack of minor social graces is enough to sever a relationship of three and a half decades. It’s very hard to get used to the idea that someone you once knew and loved is no longer interested in knowing you, let alone loving you.
I love you, Matt. I wish I could believe that your behavior now is a result of the Manichaean world of fundamentalist Christian alternaculture in which you now dwell, but if I’m honest with myself, I know that’s not the case. Your behavior during my divorce was very much like this—hurtful, cold, unforgiving—and that was long before your immersion in that other world (though it was almost exactly twelve years ago today). I do not know whence the coldness comes, the judgmental narrowness that led you, years ago, to stop listening to Bob Mould because The Daily Show had replaced Mystery Science Theater on Comedy Central. There are other examples as well. But no matter. This is you, and I, all too human and flawed, overwhelmed by school and work and family, have failed to meet your standards. So be it.
I will miss you. You will never see this. But you gave me this song once, a long, long time ago. It will always be yours to me.
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4 comments:
Oh, hon.
You are an incredible person, a superlative mother, a loving and generous wife, and a terrific friend. I'm sorry your brother can't see past whatever pain he has in his own life to see that you're also a kind and caring sister.
Unfortunately, all we can do on this earth is live our lives to the best of our abilities. If others can't accept that, then that is, sadly, their loss.
much love.
you're still my adopted auntie m <3
Oh Mary, I am so sorry this is happening. Not much I can add to what's already been said, but to say that they are absolutely right. You happen to be a fantastic person and a wonderful sister.
I love you lots. :)
Big Hugs
Jen
What everyone else said. I'm sorry your brother's a jerk - I would have thought it genetically impossible.
You can't choose the family we're born into, but you can choose the family you build around yourself, and you're surrounded by people who love you, including me.
Stay strong, babe.
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