In any case, as a result, posting by moi will necessarily be somewhat fitful for a few days.
But until then, as always, here's a fun project for you all to contemplate:
Best Post-Elvis Record That You Could Swear is By Somebody Other Than It Actually Is!!!
Look, I'm old and senile, so I'm pretty sure that I've done this one before, but screw it -- I want to try it again if only to see if I can find a way to sneak Billy Corgan's pretentious bald noggin into the mix.
Okay, that said, here's my totally top of my head Top Eleven...
11. Fontella Bass -- Rescue Me
Best Aretha Franklin record Aretha Franklin never recorded.
10. Terry Stafford -- Suspicion
Not Elvis But an Incredible Simulation. God, this has the cheesiest echo in history, doesn't it?
9. Smashing Pumpkins -- Disarm
I realize that it's an article of faith for Pumpkins fans that they're an utterly original group that doesn't owe a debt to anybody (oh wait -- that's an article of faith for Billy Corgan. My bad.) but this sounds like vintage Beatles "White Album" to me.
8. Ronnie and the Daytonas - Little GTO
The Beach Boys, obviously.
7. B. J. Thomas -- Rock and Roll Lullaby
Again, the Beach Boys, obviously. Also Duane Eddy, although unlike the Beach Boys, he actually is on this record.
6. Mouse and the Traps -- A Public Execution
Vintage Blonde on Blonde era Dylan, anyone?
5. Shadows of Knight -- Oh Yeah
Best Yardbirds rip-off ever, and I say that knowing full well that the late sainted Lester Bangs would have given that honor to the Count 5's "Psychotic Reaction.
4. Coldplay -- Viva la Vida
U2 without the warmth? Spandau Ballet without the sense of humor? God, these guys suck.
3. Creed -- With Arms Wide Open
Eddie Vedder choking on Michael McDonald's beard? God, these guys really sucked.
2. Bonnie Tyler -- It's a Heartache
Rod Stewart with bigger boobs.
And the number one song that isn't by who you think it's by because it sounds ridiculously like somebody else -- it's so obvious that if you dare to even suggest another one and I'll harm you -- is...
1. The Knickerbockers -- Lies
Everything about this one is pure Beatles -- the dead-on Lennon lead vocal, the Merseybeat harmonies, the melody, and, perhaps most of all, the guitar sound, which is pure "Revolver" era. Just astounding...
Awrighty then -- what would your choices be?
[Shameless Blogwhore: My parallel Cinema Listomania (Surrealism Edition!) is now up over at Box Office. As always, if you could see your way over there to leave a comment, an angel gets its wings.]