Weekend Listomania (Special Tolstoy, You Ignorant Slut! Video Edition)

Well, it's Friday and you know what that means. Yes, my Oriental concubine social secretary Fah Lo Suee and I are off to Telluride, Colorado, to the palatial home of Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and baby Sukhreet, or Soupy, or Stewie or whatever the hell the kid is called. We'll be attending a private screening of Tom's forthcoming motion picture Valkyrie; I'm told it has something to do with germs, so I'll be spending most of the weekend laminated in plastic as a precautionary measure.

In any case, as a result, posting by moi will necessarily be somewhat fitful for a few days.

But until then, as always, here's a fun project for you all to contemplate:

BEST POST-ELVIS POP/ROCK SONG OR RECORD REFERENCING WAR OR PEACE IN EITHER ITS LYRICS OR TITLE!!!!!!

Totally arbitrary rule: The word "battle" is allowed, but songs that merely refer to fighting are not.

Okay, that said, here's my totally top of my head Top Five:

5. (What's So Funny) 'Bout Peace Love and Understanding? -- Stephen Colbert and Friends



Sorry I couldn't find the actual video for this, which I think is now the definitive version. (The friends are Elvis Costello, Toby Keith(!), Feist, Jon Legend and Willie Nelson). I must say, though, the idea that a wiseguy cynic like Nick Lowe actually wrote what has become the most beloved anti-war song of our time is a bit of a mind-blower.

4. Let's Have a War -- Fear



"It could start in New Jersey!" The great Lee Ving on vocals, for the second week in a row. If memory serves, this is the song Fear were singing on SNL when some punks in the audience rioted. John Belushi loved it.

3. Banks of the Nile -- Fotheringay



The British Army in Egypt, and absolutely heartbreaking, via the great Sandy Denny.

"Oh cursed be these cruel wars, that ever they began
For they have robbed our country of many's the handsome man
They've robbed of us of our sweethearts while their bodies they feed the lions
On the dry and sandy deserts which are the banks of the Nile."

2. Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace -- Cheap Trick



I actually prefer the original vesion -- by the incomparable Terry Reid, about whom not enough can be said -- but since it's not on YouTube, this will suffice.

And the number one song about the the yin and yang of man's fate, it's self-evidently obvious and if you give me any grief about it I will come to your house with a regiment of mounted cavalry and obliterate you, is...

1. Peace Like a River -- Paul Simon



From his first solo album (still his masterpiece, I think) and one of his most ineffably lovely songs ever. Some smart alt-pop band with a Rickenbacker twelve-string and a winsome-voiced lead singer would be well advised to cover this some time.

Awrighty then -- what would your choices be?

[Shameless Blogwhore: My parallel Cinema Listomania (theme: worst remakes!) is now up over at Box Office. As always, if you could see your way to going over there and posting a comment, it would really get me in good with management. Thanks.]