You know, some days we forget that our current fascist dictator first came to our attention through the literary medium, i.e. he had a best-selling hardcover tome called Mein Kampf.
Oops, sorry -- The Art of the Deal.
Anyway, of course, he didn't really write it and Tony Schwartz -- the guy who did write it, and who knows Stupid Hitler© better than anyone alive -- is on record as saying that Trump is a functional illiterate with a vocabulary of (at most) 700 words who has never read an entire book all the way through in his entire depraved life.
Which leads us, as you've probably suspected, to the weekend's thought experiment business.
To wit:
Best -- or Worst -- Rock Biography, Autobiography or Memoir!!!
No arbitrary rules at all, you're welcome very much, and I'm willing to give you a lot of leeway about the definition of "memoir." Also -- band bios are totally kosher in this context.
Oh wait -- there IS an arbitrary rule. You can't include either Keith Richards' or Bruce Springsteen's tell-alls. Yeah, I know they're both great, but I'm just declaring them off limits because they're way too obvious choices. So there.
And my Totally Top of My Head Top Nine is:
9. Boys Don't Lie: A History of Shoes (Mary E. Donnelly, 2013)
A love letter from a fan (the once and future Proprietress of This Here Blog) to a band, and no better group history exists. Obviously, I'm prejudiced (hey, I wrote the foreword) but I happen to be right about this.
8. The Colonel: The Extraordinary Story of Colonel Tom Parker and Elvis Presley (Alanna Nash, 2014)
I wasn't a huge fan of Baz Luhrman's Elvis bio-pic (heh), but say what you will, it got the historical stuff more or less accurately. And the main reason it did is because it was largely and, er, unofficially -- what's the word I'm looking for? inspired? based? -- on my friend and colleague Alanna Nash's splendidly researched-and-written book about El and his sleaze-ball manager. Required reading for anybody who claims to understand the roots of American pop music in the immediate post-WW II years.
I should add that Alanna's one of the most brilliant, and nicest, folks I ever encountered as a result of my tenure at Stereo Review. Hi, Alanna!!! 😎
7. I Slept With Joey Ramone (Mickey Leigh, with Legs McNeil, 2009)
In case you hadn't heard, Mickey Leigh is Joey's kid brother and a genuine musical talent on his own. I figured I already knew everything I needed to know about The Ramones, but as it turns out I was wrong, and then some. Which is to say that Leigh's book is both a fascinating account of the birth of punk rock and a funny and ultimately very touching account of one the great sibling rivalries of our time. Highly recommended, even if you never went to CBGBs.
6. Time Between: My Life as a Byrd, Burrito Brother, and Beyond (Chris Hillman, 2020)
One of the best rock memoirs ever. In the sense that a) Hillman turns out to be a really good writer, and b) that even before he gets around to the music stuff, the chapters on his childhood (in Hillman's case, in Rancho Santa Fe California) are absolutely engrossing and evocative. Note to Byrds fans: Chris gives the true fact lowdown on the real life character who inspired his great Byrds song "Old John Robertson," which in itself is worth the price of admission.
5. Wouldn't It Be Nice (Brian Wilson, with Todd Gold, 1988)
Not really bad, as these things go, i.e. it sounds like Brian's voice. But the pernicious influence of the head Beach Boys' probably evil shrink/adviser/claimer of songwriting credits Eugene Landy is all over it, and after a while you just want to find the guy and smack him.
4. Papa John (John Phillips, 1986)
A very creepy book by an apparently very creepy guy. I read this when it first came out, i.e. years before the really disquieting stuff alleged by daughter McKenzie became public, and even then there were long stretches of the thing where I felt like I needed to take a shower after finishing them.
3. Unsung Heroes of Rock 'n Roll (Nick Tosches, 1985)
Maybe not the best book ever written about rock, but certainly the funniest; Tosches deserves secular sainthood for the chapter on Jimmy "Rocket in His Pocket" Logsdon alone. I should also add that if you haven't read Dino -- his absolutely astounding portrait of the black hole of nullity that was Dean Martin -- you need to get over to your favorite local bookstore pronto.
2. The Lives of John Lennon (Albert Goldman, 1988).
Having deliberately and inaccurately attributed a racist remark to Sam Phillips in his earlier Elvis biography, thus inserting a bogus element of bigotry into the very moment of the birth of rock 'n' roll, the now mercifully forgotten Goldman was moved to pen a life of the martyred Beatle whose theme -- reiterated endlessly -- is that its author has a larger penis than the subject of his research. Truly, one of the most loathsome misuses of dead tree products in the history of publishing.
And the number one best rock literary ego-trip -- c'mon, you just knew this was going to be the clincher -- is...
1. The Simels Report (Steve Simels, [hopefully] 2025)
My combination greatest hits anthology and memoir, and trust me, it's brilliant. My New Year's Resolution is that I'm gonna sell this to a big time publisher, but if god forbid I can't pull that off, I promise you guys I'll get it on-line in some form before 2026, if only to soothe my ego.
Alrighty then -- what would YOUR choices be?
And have a great weekend, everybody!!!
13 comments:
Band Bios: "The Dirt" about Motley Crue and, of course, "Trouble Boys" about The Replacements. Two totally different bands, but two amazing reads.
some chatbot says: Albert Goldman's biography of John Lennon, "The Lives of John Lennon," was met with mixed reactions from reviewers. Some praised its thoroughness and willingness to explore Lennon's darker side, while others criticized its sensationalism and lack of objectivity. Some reviewers also questioned the accuracy of some of the claims made in the book.
i say: this put me off rock biographies for good - i've never read another one all the way through although that was decades ago
You Don't Own Me: The Life And Times of Lesley Gore by Trevor Tolliver. Fascinating account of her rise to fame and life story.
rs
Steve Gorman's memoir/history of the Black Crowes is epic. I love this band, I love the guys in the band and yet I couldn't put this book down, thinking, "REALLY???!?!" every page...
I was unaware of that one -- putting it on my list
The Life and Times of Little Richard: The Quasar of Rock by Charles White, which was written with his cooperation and when he was in a particularly confessional mindset. You will never think of Buddy Holly the same.
C in California
Anything from Nick Tosches is worth the time. He's hilarious and insightful.
Patti Smith - Just Kids was a beautifully written book about her early years as an artist and life with Robert Mapplethorpe.
Deborah Harry - Face It is also worth reading.
Steve Van Zandt - Unrequited Infatuations: A Memoir was often good, but drags toward the end when he spent more time with TV work than rock 'n' roll.
Robyn Hitchcock - 1967: How I Got There And Why I Never Left is appropriately odd. Mostly, it made me really glad I didn't grow up in England.
- Paul in DK
I recently read “Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk Rock” and thought it was spectacular, although there were places where I just about got a contact high from all the descriptions of drug use.
I’m not a Dave Marsh fan, but I thought his 1983 book about the Who was pretty great. The relatively recent authorized biography of Entwistle was good but depressing; such a gifted musician but what a screwed-up life. And Townshend’s autobiography…brilliant guy but the word “oversharing” comes to mind; read it once, no need to read it again.
I also recently read the Bob Spitz book on Led Zeppelin, not because I’m a fan (I dislike most of their stuff), but because I thought maybe I’d get some insight into what I’m missing - demographically, I’m in the heart of their fan base. And there was some good stuff in the book about the early-Sixties Brit Rock scene, including the Birmingham stuff which I didn’t have a lot of info on before. But as it gets into the actual band stuff…well, when Page stiffs Glyn Johns on the producer credit on the first album, it was obvious this was a creepy man with no class or morals, and…yeah, I felt as if I needed a shower multiple times as the book went on.
For all of Clinton Heylin's issues (and there are many), his From the Velvets to the Voidoids is a great companion piece to Please Kill Me - while the latter is all about the gossip, the former is more about the music.
Jimmy McDonough's book on Neil Young "Shakey: A Biography" - another hilarious and insightful book, very well-researched.
Unfaithful Music & Disappearing Ink - Elvis Costello. Brilliant writing (would you expect less?) and wonderful storytelling.
Big Wheel - Bruce Thomas - Costello's former bassist dishes some dirt on EC, but also has a pretty interesting life story to tell.
Infinite Tuesday - Michael Nesmith. Life before and after the Monkees.
I agree with the selection of Nick Tosches' Dino, but will also throw in Tommy James' memoir 'Me, the Mob and the Music' with his insights into the Roulette Records Mafia.
Oh, and Andrew Loog Oldham's 'Stoned.'
Love Mary's book on Shoes. The band kind of reminded me of Cheap Trick. If the bad had gotten a decent singer.
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