Friday, April 09, 2010

Weekend Listomania (Special What the Hell is That Thing Below Your Nose? Edition)

Well, it's Friday and you know what that means. Yes, my Oriental F.O.T.W. [Friend of Tiger Woods] Fah Lo Suee and I are off to the Executive Mansion in beautiful Richmond, Virginia, where we'll be joining Governor Robert F. McDonnell [R-Slave Owner] in a ceremony celebrating his proclamation of Nazi Appreciation Month, a tribute to the Third Reich's invaluable contributions to the aerospace industry in the Commonwealth.

In any case, further posting by moi will be sporadic for a few days as a result.

But in the meantime, here's a fun little project for us all:

Best or Worst Mustache on a Post-Elvis Pop or Rock Musician!!!

And my totally top of my head Top Seven is:

7. Bob Dylan


The latter day Bob, of course, and his riverboat gambler look, which is about as cool in an age-appropriate way as you can get. What a character.

6. Sonny Bono




Hey, not for nothing is his most heartfelt record called "Laugh at Me." (And I don't care if he wrote also "Needles and Pins" -- his various mustaches over the years were heinous.)

5. John Oates




A porn 'stash, to be sure, but with so much more going on, subtextually. Let's just say it didn't surprise me when he made an actually very cool record called "Where are the Italian Girls."

4. Bryan Ferry


For somebody with as lounge lizard-ish a personna as Ferry it's kind of surprising that he's been clean-shaven for most of his career, but here he is, circa 1976, during his brief Clark Gable period.

3. Derek Smalls (Spinal Tap)


People thought it was something about their trousers, but I've always considered that magnificent growth on bassist Smalls' lip to be the true secret weapon of Spinal Tap.

2. That wimpy asshole in Fleet Foxes


Have I mentioned how much I hate this band? Seriously -- I hate just about everything about them, including their friends and relatives I've never met.

And the Numero Uno wispy or otherwise facial hair statement by a musician, I'll brook no dissension on this, absolutely is...

1. Ron Mael(Sparks)


Come on -- like it was even a contest? The guy got on Top of the Pops doing Hitler, fercrissakes.

Alrighty, then -- what would your choices be?

[Shameless Blogwhore: My parallel Cinema Listomania -- theme: Best or worst performance by a post-Beatles female pop star in a fiction film -- is now up over at Box Office. As always, if you could find it in the goodness of your heart to go over there and leave a pithy bon mot, I'd probably think nice thoughts about you. Thanks!]

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Burton Cummings


ROTP(lumber)

Dave said...

John Oates has to be #1.

But #2 for me is Chuck Negron of Three Dog Night. It comes in the top both for best mustache and worst mustache.

#3--Little Richard.

Mike said...

Frank Zappa?

And Freddie Mercury.

Peter said...

I've wanted a mustache like Jim Kweskin's since I was 14.

And I thought Charlie Watts' 1966 'stache looked like it was drawn on with a Sharpie - did they have Sharpies then?

Marsupial said...

YES YES YES! Finally, we agree on something -- I saw the topic and thought that if Ron wasn't #1 then someone must have gotten to you.

Of course, the mustache has changed over the years, but it never disappoints.

MBowen said...

Franz Nicolay, the former keyboard player from The Hold Steady. Hercule Poirot would be jealous.

steve simels said...

MBowen said...
Franz Nicolay, the former keyboard player from The Hold Steady. Hercule Poirot would be jealous.


I knew I forgot somebody current!

Wait a minnit- what do you mean former player? Did he quit? Have they broken up?

Feral said...

David Crosby

Duane Allman

Carlos Santana

and of course...
Prince

Herb said...

How 'bout the douche who plays bass in OK GO?

Anonymous said...

Didn't Bun E. Carlos have a cool 'stache back in the day?

Brooklyn Girl said...

Jeff "Skunk" Baxter may be a complete asshole, but his mustache is impressive.

Noam Sane said...

Joan Baez.

The Hamzinger said...

John Oates wins because his moustache has a career of its own: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/1b420c872f/j-stache-official-trailer?rel=player

David said...

J.D. Samson of Le Tigre and her unrepentant, Frida Kahlo-esque 'stache certainly deserves mention! Leon Redbone's is kind of classic too...

Brooklyn Girl said...

Four famous mustaches.

And my word is obilyhoo.

David said...

One more bad one: Jim Croce must have been influenced by Groucho Marx...

Anonymous said...

Franz left the band to go solo. The Hold Steady remains intact with a touring keyboard player. New record out in May.

Anonymous said...

Greg Norton of Husker Du. a handlebar for the ages.

dave™© said...

My favorite McCartney video is "Coming Up" where (I think) Linda plays Ron Mael...

dave™© said...

Here's that McCartney video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDBkySeyiDo

Might be Paulie as Ron - I can never tell.

Have to say, of all Paul's videos, he probably looks the best in this...

edward said...

Graham Nash's moustache was an inspiration for 12 year olds all over the world.

The only way Springsteen got away with his was being from New Jersey;>

Bob said...

How about Lee Hazlewood ? My own mustache is rather like Magnum PI - I've had it for 30 years and I'm not going to get rid of it now.

DJ SL said...

To the idiot who created this list:

How about you do some research before you verbally bash bands/artists. You sound downright rude and lose any credibility (which you clearly don't have) with this quote:
"I hate just about everything about them, including their friends and relatives I've never met."

Obviously you have no idea about music, let alone "power pop". Let me guess....you think Billy Joel is a hack too?

-Anonymous Classic Rock Disc Jockey