For those of you playing at home, I originally posted this one back in 2008, but obviously the statute of limitations has run out by now, so here we go again.
WORST EVER POST-BEATLES COVER OF A POP OR ROCK SONG!!!!
No arbitrary rules, except don't give me any of that celebrity shit. In other words, Sebastian Cabot or William Shatner or any of the rest of the Rhino Golden Throats crowd need not apply.
Incidentally, I've rewritten this slightly, i.e. the original number one choice was David Bowie's "Let's Spend the Night Together." But like I said last week, I think I've flogged that particular deceased equine on one or two many occasions.
Okay -- my strictly off the top of my head Top Six is:
6. A tie.
"I Can't Make You Love Me" -- Bon Iver...
"Rocky Raccoon" -- James Blunt
My theory on those two is that these guys were just fucking with us. But who knows -- maybe they were serious?
5. "Signs" -- Tesla
This was an egregiously stupid song the first time around...
...but I am convinced the hair metal morons in Tesla actually thought it was cool.
4. "A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall" -- Bryan Ferry
In which Ferry, possibly the stupidest man in the history of pop music, decides that the only way to improve a Bob Dylan song is to add sound effects.
3. "The Ballad of John and Yoko" -- Hootie and the Blowfish
This is so bad you can't even find it on the intertubes, but trust me -- it was real. You have no idea how awful.
2. "White Lines (Don't Do It)" -- Duran Duran
Because nothing says hip hop culture more than a pasty white guy named Simon Le Bon.
And the number one absolutely most disgusting cover version that has ever been heard by the ears of sentient mammalian bipeds clearly is ---
1. "Ticket to Ride" -- Maroon 5
Has there ever been a successful band with less of a reason to live? I think not.
Seriously -- they're like a black hole of anti-charisma.
Awrighty then -- what would YOUR choices be?
[h/t a certain Shady Dame from Brooklyn]