Weekend Listomania's Greatest Hits: Special They Coulda Been a Contender! Edition

[I originally posted this one back in 2008, and frankly I can't remember anything else I did that year; I assume I was having fun and being reasonably productive, but I can't prove it. In any case, as is my wont, I've changed a couple of entries and done some cosmetic re-writing, just so you don't confuse me with Marlene Dietrich singing this.

Enjoy, if possible. -- S.S.]

Best Post-Elvis Pop/Rock Band or Solo Act That Should Have Had a Mega-Career But For Whatever Reason Didn't!!!

Okay, we're talking one-hit wonders, groups or acts who had a couple of records that may have been critically acclaimed but sold negligibly, or just people that nobody ever really heard of but were fricking fantastic anyway. This is, admittedly, even more subjective than usual. Do the MC5 count? Everybody knows they were great, but they never sold that many records and broke up after three albums. How about Nick Drake? Until that car commercial made him a sort of household word, he'd been basically an obscure dead guy for decades.

Like I said, it's subjective. For me, then, I think the pornography standard applies -- i.e., I know a beautiful loser when I see one.

And that said, my top of my head Top Ten would be:

10. The Monks



These guys only made one studio album, which wasn't even released in their home country until 25 years after the fact. But as the above live clip from their fabulous 1999 reunion show demonstrates, they invented Blank Generation punk rock when Richard Hell was still in junior high school.

9. Brinsley Schwarz



The Band with pop songs, and, as you can see, one hell of a live act. IMHO, of course, they should be considered gods for no other reason than giving the world the original version of "What's So Funny About Peace Love and Understanding".

8. The Records



It is perhaps not an exaggeration to say that if it wasn't for these guys and this song the blog you're reading now wouldn't exist.

7. Kevin Salem



My favorite hard-rocking guitar-wielding singer/songwriter of the 90s. Why he remains obscure when, say, a nit like John Mayer walks the streets a free man is, frankly, beyond me.

6. The Wonders



Let's be honest -- if these guys had been an actual band rather than a fictional construct for a movie, they would have made the Hall of Fame years ago.

5. The Merry-Go-Round/Emitt Rhodes





Another power pop god who inexplicably slipped through the cracks. Fortunately, one of the best tracks from his 1970 solo album featured prominently in the soundtrack of The Royal Tennenbaums, thus reminding people (besides the Bangles, who covered one of the songs above) of just how good he is.

4. The Rising Sons



Featuring the rather awesome talents of Ry Cooder and Taj Mahal before they got famous. The fact that this track languished unreleased in the vaults of Columbia Records for nearly three decades before it was finally unleashed on the world is pretty convincing proof of the non-existence of God, IMHO.

3. Marah



Their template was The Replacements doing Bruce Springsteen covering the entirety of Exile on Main Street. It is not an exaggeration when I say that I would cheerfully cut off both of my testicles for the chance to have played on a song as great as the above. And almost everything on the album it's from is as good, BTW.

2. Moby Grape



They all sang (gloriously), the all wrote (brilliantly), their lead guitarist was one of the most innovative American players of the decade, and their debut album is a timeless masterpiece that deftly mixes rock, country, blues, gospel, and psychedelia. So why aren't these guys as famous as, oh, Crosby, Stills and Nash?

And the number uno band that time forgot and should be currently relaxing on the Riviera inhaling cocaine and Cristal absolutely is....

1. The Floor Models



Come on -- like I really have to explain this?

Alrighty, then -- what would YOUR choices be?

Happy Thanksgiving From WKRP in Cincinnati

Because this never, ever gets old.

My favorite line: "It was almost as if they were...organized."

Image of the Day: Fort Knox Rocks!

From 1968: Please behold in breathless wonder The Trends, an all-gal Louisville band that -- in the words of drummer and pal of mine Alanna Nash -- "broke out" only as far as Fort Knox."

Alanna has written for just about every media outlet on the planet, beginning with the Magazine Formerly Known as Stereo Review (in point of fact, I think she got her byline in said rag even before I did). Later, we toiled together for Entertainment Weekly.

Alanna also wrote the Jessica Savitch biography that became the basis, however loosely, for the 1996 Robert Redford/Michelle Pfeiffer vehical Up Close and Personal.

I would also like to say, and for the record, that my favorite thing about this photo -- apart from the obvious -- is that Alanna, ever the rebel, declined to wear the admittedly very cool striped jackets that the rest of the band sported.

In any case: Eat your heart out, Go-Gos. Bite me, Bangles.

THE TRENDS RULE!!!!

Image of the Day: I Don't Need No Doctor

And speaking as we were last week of the great Patti Smith -- a certain Shady Dame and I have been binge-watching The Killing, the extremely grim forensic crime series based on, apparently, an even grimmer Danish original.

And in episode one of the final fourth season -- what to our wondering eyes should appear the other day but said Patti Smith as...an emergency room surgeon(?!).

It was barely one step above a cameo, but Patti was nevertheless a total natural; I'm surprised she hasn't done more acting.In any case, Patti and the divine Joan Allen in the same episode -- it doesn't get any better than that.

The series, of course, is on Netflix, and I recommend it (with reservations). The Danish original -- charmingly monikered Forbrydelsen (which apparently translates as Wolf Who Stands in Grape Juice) is available on DVD over at Amazon, but only on European format discs.

Okay, I made up that bit about the title translation.

Image of the Day: Oh, the Felinity!

Please, everyone -- share this picture to raise awareness of the plight of cats trapped in a folk music environment.

[This was originally posted on the Facebook page of Janis Ian, of all people. Heh. -- S.S.]

Mike Nichols 1931 -- 2014

In the pre-Beatles era, these guys were my rock stars.

Seriously -- I memorized every single word of that album. I can still probably do huge chunks of it, if pressed.

A true story (all dialogue guaranteed verbatim):

In December of 1975, I was invited -- along with the rest of the New York rock press -- to a screening at the Ziegfeld Theater of Stanley Kubrick's new film Barry Lyndon (the reason being, of course, that there was a concurrent soundtrack LP featuring music by The Chieftains). For whatever reason, I was in no mood to run into anybody I knew that night, and so I deliberately sat myself as far back in the vastness of the Ziegfeld as possible, i.e. there was nobody within thirty or forty rows of me.

Until just a few minutes before the lights dimmed, when -- you guessed it -- Mike Nichols (and a young blonde woman who I now realize must have been Diane Sawyer) -- sat down in my row a couple of seats to my right.

I was kind of jazzed by this, but more to the point, there was a rumor around in those days (the truth of which I have no idea) that Nichols suffered from some weird illness that rendered him completely hairless, and that any hair on his head, including the eyebrows, was artificial. So, unobtrusively as possible, I kept shooting glances his way, and eventually I guessed he noticed.

The following conversation ensued.

NICHOLS: That hot dog you're eating looks very good.

ME: It is.

NICHOLS: Where did you get it?

ME: At the snack bar.

NICHOLS: Where's that?

ME (pointing): Down those stairs and to your right.

NICHOLS: Thanks.

Okay -- how's THAT for an encounter with greatness?

Silly Love Songs R Us: Part Deux

So as I said on Tuesday, I shnorred a copy of the new McCartney tribute album.

And as I said at the time, like most tribute albums, it's wildly uneven, existing on a scale somewhere between complete crap, meh, what were they thinking?, alright but what's the point?, and okay, that's actually pretty good.

Here are two kind of cool examples -- you can rate them for yourselves.

Dion essaying "Drive My Car" (and brilliantly, in my humble opinion)...



...nd the godlike Toots Hibbert (with Sly and Robbie) doing to Badfinger's "Come and Get It" what always deserved to be done to "Come and Get It"...




Like I said, some of this is actually pretty good.

Closed for Monkey Business

Taking a day off to work on my forthcoming true crime book/memoir -- "Unusual Matricides."

Regular, less homicidal, posting resumes tomorrow.

Silly Love Songs R Us

Just shnorred a copy of the new Paul McCartney tribute album.

Like most tribute albums, it's wildly uneven, existing on a scale somewhere between complete crap, meh, what were they thinking?, alright but what's the point?, and okay, that's actually pretty good.

Haven't had a chance to really digest the whole thing, but at this point here are my two faves.

1. Bob Dylan -- Things We Said Today



2. Jeff Lynne -- Junk



The Dylan cover, obviously, is pro forma except for the fact that Bob sings it in his current raspy death rattle voice; I can understand why some people might have a problem with that, but I find it weirdly compelling.

The Lynne track, however, is just exquisite; "Junk" is one of Macca's most beautiful (and inexplicably underrated tunes) and I think this version does it total justice.

Il Papa's Got a Brand New Bag

From Rolling Stone:

Patti Smith will be among the performers at the Concerto di Natale, the Vatican's annual Christmas concert held in Rome since 1993, next month, according to The Independent. The concert will take place at Auditorium Conciliazione, a venue located about a 15-minute walk from the heart of Vatican City, on December 13th. The Italian-language newspaper Il Corriere della Sera suggests that Pope Francis invited Smith, according to International Business Times. The program – which will also feature DJ Bob Sinclar and the singing nun who won this year's edition of The Voice of Italy, Sister Cristina Scuccia – will be broadcast on Christmas Eve in the country.

Smith...met the Pope last year in St. Peter's Square at the Vatican. She described the pontiff as being "very interesting" at the time and said she "liked him a lot," according to Huffington Post (via CathNews USA)...Smith explained her relationship with Christianity in the context of her song "Mercy Is," which appeared in Darren Aronofsky's film Noah earlier this year. "I have a very strong biblical background," she said. "I studied the bible quite a bit when I was young and continue to study it, independent of any religion, but I still study it."

[Note photographic evidence that I am One Degree of Separation from Pope Francis. How fricking cool is that? -- S.S.]

Words fail me. That's Patti Smith, as in the Patti Smith whose first line in the first song on her first album is "Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine."

In any case, quite by coincidence, I'm actually gonna see Patti discuss "Mercy Is" at a screening of Noah at the Museum of the Moving Image in Astoria tonight. I'll probably be too nervous to ask her a question about anything, but I'll keep you posted.

I should add that I'm liking this pope more and more these days.

Weekend Listomania's Greatest Hits: Special Guided By Voices Edition

[This is one of the very first Weekend Listomanias ever; I originally posted it in early 2007, which as you know is several centuries ago in dog years. As is my wont, I have done some re-writing, substituted some different video clips, and added an extra entry, all mostly to keep you from thinking that I have grown indolent and lazy suckling on the government teat of Medicare and Social Security. -- S.S.]

Okay, kids here's a fun project for you all to contemplate:

Best a cappella Pop/Rock Song (either totally a cappella, or with a cool a cappella section of whatever length!!!)

And I don't just mean doo-wop. Group harmony is group harmony, okay?

That said, here's my totally top of my head top eight:

8 Steeleye Span -- Gaudete



I don't know what's more amazing -- the Spans stunning medeival harmonies on this or the fact that at the time it was recorded, the band were actually pop stars in England with hit records on the charts.

7. Petra Haden -- I Can See For Miles



The Who's power pop classic done solely with mouths turned to eleven. Utterly mind-boggling.

6. Fairport Convention -- Percy's Song



The acapella intro for this is one of my all time favorite things; amazingly enough, the performance gets even better as it goes along.

5. The Beatles -- Because



Of all the reasons to hate the Fabs, the fact that they were -- on top of all their other talents -- absolutely astoundingly good harmony singers may be the most plausible. This may or may not be from the Love mashup album, but I'm too lazy to check. Maybe it was on one of the Anthology sets. Whatever

4. Big Daddy -- Eye of the Tiger



The Survivor song recast as street-corner doo-wop, as it probably always deserved. The traffic noises at the top are a particularly droll touch.

3. Crosby Stills and Nash -- Find the Cost of Freedom



The a cappella at the end is pretty spine-tingling, I think. One of their better songs, although the a-side -- "Ohio" -- sent the same message somewhat more forcefully with loud guitars.

2. The Beach Boys -- Their Hearts Were Full of Spring



A straight cover of the Four Freshmen's original, but if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye, I probably don't want to know you. And this despite the immense dickitude of Mike Love.

And the number one all-time top acapella pop/rock madrigal is ----

1. Imogen Heap -- Hide and Seek




I first heard this in late 2006 when it was used in a montage at the end of an episode of the short-lived Ray Liotta TV crime show Smith, although I'm told it had also figured earlier on The O.C. In any case, I remember practically falling off the couch at the time and thinking it's the most bizarrely haunting thing I'd ever encountered. It's almost a whole new genre -- Android Doo-Wop, anybody?

Alrighty now -- what would your choices be?

Closed for Monkey Business

Too much mishegass going on right now, but regular posting -- including the return of Weekend Listomania's Greatest Hits -- resumes tomorrow.

Your Wednesday Moment of Holy Fricking Shit

The Records -- the promo video for their brilliant cover of Tim Moore's "Rock 'n' Roll Love Letter."

Post by The Records.

The song, obviously, is on the power pop Mount Rushmore, and often covered. But this particular version is supernaturally good, and the video -- which nobody has seen in over thirty years -- is, in Woody Allen's immortal coinage, transplendent.

Seriously -- words fail me. These guys -- and I was lucky enough to see them in their prime -- were beyond great.

Image of the Day

Courtesy of the eternally cool Jaan Uhelszki (of CREEM fame and much more): Behold, in breathless wonder, one of the most amazing photos I have ever seen.

From December, 1976, this is apparently the very first meeting of the two great Smiths -- Patti and "Sonic" Fred of The MC5.

The picture was taken in the dressing room of some small club after a Patti show at the Masonic Temple in Detroit; the photographer was Jaan's sister JoAnn, who as Jaan notes "always had the knack of being at the right place at the right time." Jaan herself can be glimpsed at the top right of the image, chatting with MC5 bassist Michael Davis.

In any case, words fail me.

Ineptitude Killed the Radio Star

All four brilliant hours of last Tuesday's edition(s) of my pal Captain Al's intertube radio show -- featuring a guest star whose name rhymes with Sleeve Nimels, cracking wise and spinning some interesting tunes and stuff -- can now be found at the vault section of Area 24 Radio right over HERE.

Just scroll down to Lost at Sea for 11/04 and 11/05 and click on the links to enjoy big time professional broadcasting two guys goofing around (and one of them was swilling elitist chardonnay). I think you'll particularly enjoy the 1943 Albert Brooks Show that closes hour four; as Brooks says in the intro, it's wonderful that some of his pre-natal work has survived.

I should add, however, that my microphone seems to have been set at a lower volume level than that of my host -- I smell conspiracy!

Your Friday Moment of THIS IS WHAT ROCK 'N' ROLL IS SUPPOSED TO SOUND LIKE!!!

From her 2013 EP Boy Crazy...

...please enjoy big-voiced farm girl next door Lydia Loveless and her jaw-droppingly great ode to the joys of having the sort of domestic dispute that, if videotaped, would have gotten you on an episode of COPS -- the amazingly honest, hilarious and fiendishly catchy "Lover's Spat."



I'm sorry, it just doesn't get any better than this.

Seriously -- this is so great, if I was thirty years younger I'd be trying to weasel myself into this band even if Lydia wasn't the lead singer.

INSPIRATIONAL VERSE: The lyrics to the second stanza and the bridge.

So don’t go running around naked by the side of the road
Honey, you look ridiculous
With that cut on your eye and your dick hanging out
Why don’t you care about us
Well, why don’t you stay for dinner or at least a late-night snack
Oh honey, I can’t relax
To know it’s just a lover’s spat

Oh excuse me, I don't think you know my father

This woman is a stone genius.

Image of the Day

From 1962 -- During one of the first live performances of his hit “Monster Mash," Bobby "Boris" Pickett is backed by a then-unknown teen combo called The Beach Boys."

Words fail me. Seriously -- has anybody ever seen this one before? I know I haven't.

[h/t KLG]

Closed for Moneky Business

Had a real oool time spinning tunes, craking wise and (if truth be told) sipping elitist chardonnay on my pal Captain Al's intertube radio show yesterday, but four hours of it really tuckered me out -- hence nothing new today.

Regular posting -- inluding a big video roundup on Friday -- resumes tomorrow.

Who Listens to the Radio?

Well, hopefully you guys.

Because I'm gonna be on my old chum Allan Rosenberg's intertube radio show Lost at Sea today between 3-7pm East Coast Time.

Over at fabulous Area 24 Radio.

You can -- and should -- stream the show over HERE.

We'll be spinning lots of interesting, offbeat and alarming tunes -- including the world premiere of yet another track featuring some idiot whose name rhymes with Sleeve Nimels -- and a real cool time is guaranteed for all.

We'll also be taking your requests and accepting threats via the e-mail, so don't hesitate to contact us (I'll be giving out the addy on the air).

So tune in, won't you?

Thanks!!!!

Your Monday Moment of a Work in Progress

From their forthcoming EP, recorded in a dank attic somewhere in the wilds of New Jersey...

...please enjoy my once and future high school garage band chums The Weasels and "A Lot Like You," the latest masterwork that will probably make their names live beyond eternity.

This isn't quite finished, BTW -- only half of my guitar solo is there, and this is a rough mix -- but I think it sounds pretty cool nonetheless. The song is written and sung by friend of PowerPop "Jai Guru" Dave Hawxwell (who also plays rhythm guitar); the Sting-like bass is by Allan "Al" Weissman; the louder rhythm guitars are by some idiot whose name rhymes with Sleeve Nimels; and the non-human drum track is courtesy of our producer, Reg Thorpe Glenn Leeds.



I should add that when Dave first presented the song to us some weeks ago, we were duly impressed with the progress of his songwriting; heretofore just about everything he had ever written sounded like 70s soft or country rock, whereas with this new opus he had graduated to a convincing impression of Mike and the Mechanics.