Friday, December 27, 2024

Weekend Listomania: Special "The Red Sea Pedestrians of Xmas" Edition

[I posted the original version of this back in 2008(!) and oy gevalt, just kill me now. It struck me as still relevant, however, so I've done a little rewriting, changed the critical parameters and swapped a couple of new entries in. Enjoy, and Happy Holidays. -- S.S.]

Okay, it's the second day of Christmanukkah, and you know what that means.

Well, actually, no. At least, I don't know what that means.

So, that being the case -- we probably should get immediately to the business at hand. To wit:

BEST OR WORST POST-ELVIS CHRISTMAS SONG OR RECORD WRITTEN OR PERFORMED BY A LADY OR GENTLEMAN OF THE HEBRAIC PERSUASION!!!

No arbitrary rules, although -- obviously -- if you nominate the Velvet Frog and that song of his whose name I won't mention, I will come to your house and pummel you with a large gingerbread pastry.

Okay, and my Totally Top of My Head Top Seven (not quite enough for a Minyan) is/are:

7. Randy Newman -- Christmas in Cape Town

A song about exactly what its title suggests, and for once Newman isn't being ironic or snarky.

6. Neil Diamond -- Happy Christmas (War Is Over)

Obviously, a Diamond and peace is a twofer.

5. Carly Simon -- God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Hey -- if I had found Carly under my Hanukkah bush, I could have died a happy guy.

4. Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme -- Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Another twofer -- to my surprise, I just discovered that Eydie, who I had always assumed was Greek, was actually a nice Jewish girl.

3. Neil Sedaka -- What Child Is This?

Any other song on his Christmas album would work as well. Or not. If you know what I mean. 😎

2. Barbra Streisand -- Jingle Bells

How do you say "words fail me" in Yiddish?

And the number one Jews of Christmas ditty, like you thought it was something else, obviously is --

1. Lou Reed -- Xmas in February

One of the darkest songs from the great New York album, but hey -- consider it this Listomania's equivalent of a lump of musical coal in your stocking.

Alrighty then -- what would YOUR choices be?

And have a great weekend, everybody!!!

9 comments:

mistah charley, sb, ma, phd, jsps said...

for the purposes of this list, let's count mark knopfler as jewish - his hungarian jewish dad fled the nazis in 1939 and married an englishwoman - people who are strict about group membership would exclude him because although he's half-jewish it's the "wrong" half, admittedly

he wrote a beautiful song about an experience of his as a very young man, hitchhiking in snow-covered cornwall on christmas day - "matchstick man"

but my favorite song of his, which to me expresses the highest spiritual aspirations which people can feel and occasionally act on - and other times not, unfortunately, which is why it is a tragic song - is "brothers in arms"

neither of these songs mentions chestnuts roasting on an open fire - who knows if it's good or bad?

steve simels said...

I'd completely forgotten those -- thanks, pal. 😎

mistah charley, sb, ma, phd, jsps said...

my cybercorrespndent "ChatGPT" shows its sensitive side when it says:

Mark Knopfler's Matchstick Man paints a vivid and haunting image of solitude and vulnerability. The starkness of hitchhiking through snow-covered Cornwall on Christmas morning, standing at a crossroads and seeing only emptiness for miles, captures a profound sense of isolation and introspection. The crossroads, often symbolic of life’s decisions or turning points, adds depth to the scene. It’s a moment that reflects both physical struggle and emotional weight, resonating with themes of perseverance and the human spirit in challenging times.

Cleveland Jeff said...

Best Christmas record by anyone- We Three Kings by The Roches

Anonymous said...

Three Angels Bob Dylan
7 O' Clock News/Silent Night Simon & Garfunkel
rs

Anonymous said...

definitely agree my favourites off that album are good king wenceslas and silver bells

Anonymous said...

A Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis by Kinky Friedman ( Tom Waits song)
bmbb

danny1959 said...

"Must Be Santa" by Bob Dylan

Rob said...

Who knew -
Jorma Kaukonen ...
The Christmas Album
rob