Weekend Listomania: Special "Tolstoi Lives!" Edition

[I first posted a version of this back in 2008, which is so long ago it might as well have been the Pleistocene Era. But alas, its theme remains disturbingly relevant in an age when supposedly sane members of the World's Greatest Deliberative Body are creaming their jeans in anticipation of our launching yet another full scale conflict in the Middle East. In any case, I've done some re-writing, as well as adding a couple of new entries. Semper fi, bitches!-- S.S.]

BEST OR WORST POST-ELVIS POP/ROCK/COUNTRY/R&B OR SOUL SONG/RECORD REFERENCING WAR OR PEACE IN ITS LYRICS OR TITLE, EITHER DIRECTLY OR INDIRECTLY!!!!!!

Totally arbitrary rule: No folk music performances. I.e., it has to be a loud record with drums or something drum adjacent. Thank you.

Okay, that said, my totally top of my head Top Ten is:

10. Bruce Springsteen -- Last to Die

From Magic, which is the last really great album he made in my opinion. At the time it came out, I wrote that the shadow of the Iraq war seemed to hover over the entire record, and I stand by that assessment.

9. Vince Vance and the Valiants -- Bomb Iran

To be honest, I hate even bringing up this reprehensible piece of shit, but it's such an artifact of evil I'd really be remiss if I didn't include it. I should add that it was given a new lease on life by Sen. John McCain [R-Glad He's Dead], just one of many reasons to have hated that asshole, and that in a hideous historical irony, the guy who composed the original song -- the Regents' hit "Barbara Ann" -- on which this desecration is based was actually himself of Iranian lineage.

8. Stephen Colbert and Friends - (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace Love and Understanding?

Sorry I couldn't find the actual video for this, which I believe is now the definitive version (the friends are Elvis Costello, Toby Keith, Feist, Jon Legend and Willie Nelson). I must say, though, the idea that a wiseguy cynic like Nick Lowe actually wrote what has become the most beloved anti-war song of our time is a bit of a mind-blower.

7. Jefferson Airplane -- Volunteers

And to think, they would go on to follow this up with "We Built This City."

6. Fear -- Let's Have a War

"It could start in New Jersey!" The great Lee Ving on vocals, obviously. If memory serves, this is the song Fear were singing on SNL when some punks in the audience rioted. John Belushi loved it.

5. Fotheringay -- Banks of the Nile

The British Army in Egypt, and absolutely heartbreaking, via the great Sandy Denny.

"Oh cursed be these cruel wars, that ever they began
For they have robbed our country of many's the handsome man
They've robbed of us of our sweethearts while their bodies they feed the lions
On the dry and sandy deserts which are the banks of the Nile."

4. Terry Reid -- Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace

The oft-covered -- Cheap Trick, Christopher Milk -- classic, but the original remains the greatest.

3. Edwin Starr -- War

I mean, I don't want to belabor the obvious, but...😎

2. Creedence Clearwater Revival -- Fortunate Son

And boy, has this one not dated one whit. Unfortunately.

And the number one song about the yin and yang of man's fate, it's self-evidently obvious and if you give me any grief about it I will come to your house with a regiment of mounted cavalry and obliterate you, is...

1. Steve Simels -- I Come and Stand at Every Door

"All that I ask is that for peace/you fight today -- you fight today."

Me doing the Pete Seeger/Byrds classic. What -- like you didn't see that coming? 😎😎

Awrighty then -- what would YOUR choices be?

And have a great weekend, everybody!!!