Weekend Listomania (Special Shoot 'em While They Run Audio/Video Edition)

Well, it's Friday, and you know what that means, Yes, my Oriental glandular manipulation therapist and spiritual advisor Fah Lo Suee and I will be heading to beautiful downtown Bowling Green, Kentucky, home of libertarian/Teabagger senatorial candidate Rand Paul. Mr. Paul is planning on attending a Bar Mitzvah at Bowling Green synagogue Congregation Am Shalom, but we will be joining the venerated Rabbi Chaim LeChaim in barring the door and informing Mr. Paul that "We reserve the right to refuse services to you."

The being the case, and since things will be a little quiet around here for the forseeable future, here's a fun little project for us all:

Best or Worst Post-Beatles Pop/Rock/Soul Song or Record That References Firearms in Either the Title or the Lyric!!!

Self-explanatory, so no arbitrary rules, but by firearms I mean the obvious, i.e. handguns, rifles, etc. In other words, if you try to sneak in something like Bruce Cockburns' otherwise quite splendid "If I Had a Rocket Launcher" I'll make merciless fun of you.

And my totally top of my head Top Ten is:

10. Terry Reid -- Bang Bang




Written by Sonny fricking Bono, and covered here to within an inch of its "my baby shot me down" life. Reid, of course, is the man who passed on Robert Plant's gig in Led Zeppelin, thus altering history in unfathomable ways.

9. The Connells -- Get a Gun



From 1990 and a long-time fave of mine. Utterly gorgeous on every level, I think, but to this day I haven't the slightest idea what it's about. These guys are apparently still a going concern, however, and if I ever run into them maybe I'll ask.

8. Warren Zevon -- Jeannie Needs a Shooter



Thought I was gonna say "Lawyers, Guns and Money," didn't you?

7. Mission of Burma -- That's When I Reach for My Revolver

	Mission of Burma - Thats When I Reach for My Revolver .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Yeah, it's a great song. Still, and I forgot who said it, but there comes a time in everybody's life when they look at their CD collection and realize that those three Mission of Burma albums are basically just taking up space.

5. Hackamore Brick -- Zip Gun Woman




From the 1971 cult album. These guys are supposed to be some kind of proto-something -- punk, powerpop, I don't know what -- and people I know whose opinions I respect actually like the record. All I know is, I pull it out once every year or two to see if it makes sense to me yet, and it never does.

5. Webb Wilder -- The Devil's Right Hand




Written by Steve Earle, natch, and still the best anti-gun song ever. From Wilder's brilliant 1986 debut album, and recorded live obviously.

4. Bruce Springsteen -- Held Up Without a Gun




The Boss Goes Punk, and (at a breathless 1:22 seconds) just a total pleasure. This is the studio version from The River sessions, which has never been on legit CD to my knowledge.

3. The Goo Goo Dolls -- Naked




"The shots in the dark from empty guns/Are never heard by anyone." I don't really care that these guys ripped off everything they ever did from Paul Westerberg -- I like 'em anyway. Sorry.

2. The Killers -- Under the Gun



Because we like to have something recorded in the current century, obviously, but god knows if anybody deserves to have a song with "gun" in the title, it's these guys. Honorable mention: Little Steven and the Disciples of Soul, for their superior song of the same title.

And the Numero Uno ode to the joys of blowing stuff up real good simply has to be...

1. The Guess Who -- Guns, Guns, Guns




This is one of the Guess Who tracks I usually pull out when people make fun of my obsession with the band. I'd actually forgotten it was a single; I mostly think of it as one of the best cuts from Rockin', the 1972 LP that's not only their masterpiece but one of the most unjustly overlooked albums of its decade. The song itself is sui generis; slash-and-burn guitars, a chorus for the ages, and a lyric -- at a historical moment when corporate greedheads may have befouled the Gulf of Mexico beyond repair and the NRA and their Supreme Court enablers won't rest until every American can walk into a bar carrying a Stinger missile -- that's obviously depressingly prescient.

Alrighty, then -- what would your choices be?

[Shameless Blogwhore: My parallel Cinema listomania -- theme: best or worst films about alienated teens -- is now up over at Box Office. As always, I'd take it as a personal favor if you could go over there and leave a comment or two.]