In any case, as a result, posting by moi will necessarily be somewhat fitful for a few days.
But until then, as always, here's a fun project for you all to contemplate:
BEST POP/ROCK SONG THAT PROVIDED THE TITLE FOR A REALLY CRAPPY MOVIE!!!!!
Just to make this clear -- the song has to predate the movie. Title songs written specifically for films, like "A Hard Day's Night" or "Jailhouse Rock" don't count. Conversely, a song that provided a title for a good movie -- "Peggy Sue Got Married," say -- is off limits as well. Try to sneak any of that crap by me and I swear to god I'll take a hostage.
Okay, that said, here's my totally top of my head Top Eight:
Justine Bateman stars as an extremely lame 80s indie rocker. There's a word for this, and I believe it's "Ack."
7. Message in a Bottle
From this year, actually, although it came and went pretty quickly. Basically, it's like a very damp version of an old Rock Hudson/Doris Day sex farce. Biggest laugh is Kate Hudson wacking Matthew McConaughey in the face with a golf club, which should tell you all you need to know.
6. Pretty Woman
I know a lot of people like this movie, and Richard Gere and Julia Roberts are obviously easy on the eyes, but really -- she's not some high class courtesan, she's an LA street walker. The idea that anybody would attempt to glamorize such a life, even in a romantic fairytale, just strikes me as moronic, if not downright morally reprehensible.
5. Can't Buy Me Love
"Ronald Miller is tired of being a nerd, and makes a deal with one of the most popular girls in school to help him break into the "cool" clic. He offers her a thousand dollars to pretend to be his girlfriend for a month. It succeeds, but he soon learns that the price of popularity may be higher than he expected..."
About as bad as it sounds, although it's kind of amusing to see Patrick "Dr. McDreamy" Dempsey as a zygote.
4. My Blue Heaven
Steve Martin as an Italian mobster in the Witness Protection program in some whitebread suburb. Yeah, sure, I'll buy that.
3. Jumpin' Jack Flash
Whoopi Goldberg, mugging shamelessly, gets mistaken for a secret agent in a film that recalls "North By Northwest" if it had been directed by a moron. The pic's video promo, featuring Aretha Franklin and Keith Richards, is better than anything in the movie itself, but that's not really saying much.
2. She's the One
I like Edward Burns, but he earned numerous demerits from me for turning Springsteen's grandest ode to romantic obsession into a sentimental meditation on immature dorks with relationship problems.
And the number one, hands down, it's not even a fricking contest for crissakes, best song whose title was appropriated for a really awful flick is -----
1. Soul Man
Spoiled brat white teen dons blackface to get a scholarship to Harvard. Racist swill, obviously, and easily one of the top ten appalling films of the 80s (and that's not even taking into account that its star is C. Thomas Howell).
Alrighty now -- what would your choices be?