It's official -- Newsweek's pop music person Jac Chebatoris is an even more cloying prose stylist than the New York Times' eternally irksome Kelefa Sanneh.
Here's the lede to Jac's review of the new album by a certain country music icon.
Dolly Parton excels at being Dolly Parton, and I love her for it. On the cover of her new CD, my girl—now 62—reclines on a pile of hay in the back of a pickup truck, resplendent in a leopard-print bodysuit, her belt cinching a diaphanous, hot-pink trench coat around her wasp waist. What's with all the frisky imagery? The title of the album is "Backwoods Barbie," and Dolly clearly wants to make sure she's got our attention, because she's got a few things she'd like to say.
You can read the rest here, but trust me -- it gets worse.
Seriously, I was worried that -- given Sanneh's iminent departure from the Times -- I wouldn't have anybody's embarassing fanboy gush to make fun of on a regular basis any more. Clearly, this won't be a problem....