Friday, February 28, 2020

Weekend Listomania: Special "What? What Did They Say?" Edition

Well, it's the weekend, and you know what that means. Yes, my Oriental manual catharsis specialist Fah Lo Suee and I will be heading to India, as trade representatives for the Trump administration. Our job: Convince the wogs to import more American beef.

But in the meantime, while we're gone, here's a fun little project for us all:


No arbitrary rules whatsoever, but if you try to sneak Yngwie Malmsteen in there I will come to your house and slap you silly.

And my totally top of my head Top 9 is:

9. STEALER'S WHEEL (The United Kingdom)

Okay, they're from Scotland, which means that technically they speak English.

But come on -- really? Have you ever been to Scotland and tried to order a drink at your hotel?


Love this guy, whether he's performing either rock or roll.

7. ABBA (Sweden)

In their case, they sing in what's usually referred to as "charmingly accented" English.

6. SHOCKING BLUE (The Netherlands)

Everybody knows "Venus," but "Railroad Man" is even better and they had scads of songs as good.

5. THE OUTSIDERS (The Netherlands)

The Stones -- or more accurately the Pretty Things -- of Holland.

4. LOS SHAKERS (Uruguay)

The Beatles del Río de la Plata. Seriously.

3. LOS BRAVOS (Spain)

I know very little about these guys, but the lead singer was clearly the Iberian Gene Pitney.

2. BORIS GREBENSHIKOV (The former Soviet Union)

The Bob Dylan of the USSR. His American album -- produced by Dave Stewart of Eurthymics -- is one of the great lost records of the 80s.

And the number one totally crappy band for whom English is not their first language simply has to be, it couldn't be anybody else, is ...

1. MAROON 5 (California. Supposedly.)

I'm sorry -- the only excuse for the fact that these assholes have sold millions of records world wide is that they are foreigners. Seriously -- you can't suck that badly and have that level of success for any other reason. God knows their lyrics are so lame that could only be badly translated from some other language.

Alrighty then -- who would YOUR choices be?

And have a great weekend everybody!!!


The Kenosha Kid said...

Shocking Blue - Love Buzz
Golden Earring - Radar Love
Plastic Bertrand - Ca plane pour moi
Can - Vitamin C
Daft Punk - Harder Better Faster Stronger
Bjork - Human Behavior

fight me!

Sal Nunziato said...

Golden Earring- That Day

I only just discovered the first three or four Golden Earring records. Fantastic stuff, not that I don't love "Moontan."

Billy B said...

Focus - Hocus Pocus

I don't know if yodeling counts as language, but...

Anonymous said...

Ely Guerra - Lotofire
Caetano Veloso - Circulado
PFM - The World Became the World
Einstürzende Neubauten - Halber Mensch
Super Furry Animals - Mwng
The Nomads - Outburst
Serena-Maneesh - Abyss in B Minor
Marisa Monte - Barulhinho Bom

where else could Maroon 5 come from but the USA? maybe outer space, but that's my theory for the Beatles...

Anonymous said...

The monalisa twins

Shriner said...

Nouvelle Vouge's cover of The Dead Kennedy's should be here.

Would agree with "Radar Love" and "Hocus Pocus", though.

And if we are just talking singers -- anything by "Ivy": Dominique Durand is sublime singing those pop tunes such as "The Best Thing"

MJConroy said...

Big yes to Golden Earring and Shocking Blue.

How about: The Sinners - Barbed Wire Heart

neal t said...

What about Kraftwerk?

Anonymous said...

Los Fabulosos Cadillacs are fabulous. Agree with Golden Earring and another from my youth that are a guilty pleasure, Scorpions.


Anonymous said...

"Hello Boys"

Marlena Deitrich - "Falling in Love Again"

Or in an alternate universe

Madeline Kahn - "I'm Tired"!

Captain Al

Edward said...


furrball said...

Re: Los Bravos - From what I know, the lead singer, Mike Kogel, would've had to pull off the greatest geographic stunt of all time, as he's German! (He later changed his name to "Mike Kennedy" and had a minor hit with "Louisiana", BTW.)