Friday, October 23, 2020

Weekend Listomania: Special "Let's Face It -- Everything Below the Waist is Kaput!" Edition

Well, it's Friday, and you know what that means.

Yes, my Asian manual catharsis consultant Fah Lo Suee and I will be heading to beautiful downtown Forest Hills, NY, to take advantage of the newly re-opened indoor dining just approved by Gov. Andrew Cuomo.

That being the case, here's a fun little project having absolutely no relevance to contemporary events but which still should be diverting for us anyway. To wit:

Best or Worst Pop/Rock/Soul/Folk Songs Marlene Dietrich Either Actually Sang or SHOULD Have!!!!

I should add, at this point, that my critical colleague at The Magazine Formerly Known as Stereo Review, the late great Noel Coppage, provided the definitive assessment of Ms. Dietrich's vocal stylings.

"Atonal groaning."

Okay, with that joke now rescued from obscurity, my totally Top of My Head Top Five is/are:

5. Bert Bachrach/Hal David -- "Moon River"

4. Pete Seeger -- "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?"

3. Marianne Faithfull -- "Sister Morphine"

What I wouldn't have given to hear Marlene croak (heh) "Here I lie in my hospital bed."

2. The Ramones -- "I Wanna Be Sedated"

And the number one song Ms. Dietrich was obviously born to sing but alas never did (to our knowledge) self-evidently is...

1. The Beatles -- "I'm So Tired"

For obvious reasons.

Alrighty then -- what would YOUR choices be?

And have a great weekend, everybody!


Blue Ash Fan said...

Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah"

Billy B said...

Atonal groaning is correct.

Gummo said...

Lou Reed: "Perfect Day"

cthulhu said...

The Rutles, “Goose-Step Mama”

edward said...

Nico beat her to Deutschland Uber Alles (or did she?), so I guess that's out. And Bowie already did Heroes in German, so the voices in my head suggest...

Dignified and Old - The Modern Lovers
I Go To Sleep - Pretenders
Cracking Up - Nick Lowe
They're Coming to Take Me Away - Napoleon the 13th
Stairway to Heaven - Led Zep

Haik Mendelovich said...

Girl From Germany - Sparks.

"They can hear the stormtroops on our lawn,
When I show her in,
And the Fuehrer is alive and well,
In our paneled den..."

Anonymous said...

Thank you, today's blog is a lot of fun!!!!

Also a shout out to Madeline Kahn!!!

Captain Al

Alzo said...

On groaning: I don't recall if it was Coppage or you, but I've always remembered the description of some singer sounding "like Robert Goulet moaning that his orange juice is warm."

Alzo said...

Oh yeah, a nominee:

As for La Dietrich-- as a singer, she was a fine-looking woman.

Anonymous said...

The Hounds: Falling in Love Again.

Captain Al

M_Sharp said...

It's Halloween, so how about "I Put A Spell on You"?

Or maybe a remark of Bruce's "Nebraska" album, and substitute "Racing In The Streets" for "Open All Night".

The Seeds "Can't Seem To Make You Mine"

I bet she could do a decent "Dead Flowers" or "Sunday Morning Coming Down"