The Greatest Weekend Listomania of All Times: Special "I've Wanted to Do This For Years and Years" Edition

Okay, as you may have heard, Apple Music has just posted a list of what are supposed to be the Best Albums Ever Made.

To predictable outrage from the sort of people that take this kind of online shit seriously and should know better. Myself included.

In the Apple Top Ten?

Six words. Lauryn. Hill. Frank. Ocean. Kendrick. Lamar.

I mean, gimme a fucking break.

Seriously, look I know, these lists are nothing but clickbait, and this one is no more ridiculous than any other one. And yeah, it's a generation gap thing, and there's no accounting for taste, and fuck you boomers, and blah blah blah.

That said, there actually are, objectively, records that should be on a list like the above, and I happen to be an expert in this regard.

So here they are, in this blog's traditional Weekend Listomania form, and after you've perused them you can nominate your own, which I will doubtless have nothing but justified scorn for, you morons.

To wit:

All-Time Best Post-WWII Records Ever Recorded -- In Any Genre!!!

As you can see, there are no arbitrary rules. Oh wait -- fuck that laissez-faire shit.

Sorry...no hiphop/indie rock/Phillip Glass or Steve Reich-ian Minimalist shit/Taylor Swift albums -- or anything from the 21st century -- need apply. Because obviously all of that sucks*.

On the other hand: If you want to nominate a dopey novelty single, go for it. What the hell do I care?

Okay -- and my totally top of my head Top Ten is...

[*The following list is only partially meant tongue-in-cheek. Just so we're clear. -- S.S.]

10. Miles Davis/Gil Evans -- Sketches of Spain (Columbia, 1960)

Ahh, Miles. If ever a dude bopped in from an alternate universe, it was him.

9. The Firesign Theater -- Don't Crush That Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers (Columbia, 1970)

The Beatles of comedy? Uh, yeah. This album is that good.

8. Alex North -- Spartacus (The Sound Track Album) (Decca, 1960)

Have I mentioned that Alex North may have been one of the greatest American composers of the second half of the 20th Century? And if you don't believe it, dig the Spartacus main title above.

7. Nervous Norvus -- Transfusion (Dot, 1956)

Rockabilly meets the Age of Anxiety and then they all go to Golden Corral for lunch.

6. Marty Robbins -- Gunfighter Ballads and Trail Songs (Columbia, 1959)

For the proto-leather bar album cover alone, although the uncut version of "El Paso" is also great when you want to signal your party guests to go home.

5. Bidu Sayao and Heitor Villa-Lobos -- Bachianas Brasileira No. 5/Cantilena (Columbia, 1952)

A chick singer, a small string section and a haunting melody. This is the hit that every bad prog band has been chasing since forever. And please -- don't give me any of that Joan Baez shit because I don't want to hear about it.

I should add that I actually had the original LP version. Love that album sleeve.

And if memory serves it was a ten-inch, if you'll pardon the expression. Heh.

4. Dennis Brain and the Philharmonia Orchestra with Herbert Von Karajan -- Mozart Horn Concertos (EMI, 1953)

Hey -- apart from the fact that his playing (and not just of Mozart) was virtuosic and meltingly gorgeous, his last name was actually freaking Brain. Sheesh. There isn't a rock star ever who wouldn't have killed to be able to pull that off.

3. The Singing Dogs -- Jingle Bells (RCA, 1955)

Inter-species music making. Obviously, it doesn't get any better.

2. B. B. King -- Live at the Regal (ABC, 1964)

Everybody, by which I mean rock critics, agrees this is the greatest blues album ever made, and yet none of them (including me) has ever bothered to listen to it. How cool is that?

And the most significant thing ever recorded down through the echoing corridors of time and even into the far distant future (if any) unmistakably is...

1. Tonio K. -- Life in the Foodchain (Columbia, 1978)

C'mon -- like you (and especially long-time readers) didn't see that coming FROM A MILE AWAY DOWN BROADWAY?

Alrighty then -- what would YOUR choices be? (Don't worry -- they can't possibly be sillier than the some of the ones on the Apple list).

And have the most transplendent weekend in world history, everybody!!!

Closed for Transplendently Brilliant Monkey Business

Hard at work on Friday's Weekend Listomania, which will be beyond the pale of human experience great and I am not exaggerating. In fact, that's a hint to the theme of the thing.

See you tomorrow!!!!

If It's Wednesday, There Must Be a Stairway to Heaven

From 1989 or '90, and the Australian comedy talk show show The Money or the Gun, please enjoy highly fetching Sydney-based New Wave/power popsters The Whipper Snappers and their adorable take on that insufferable Led Zeppelin classic.

The show must have been a lot of fun, BTW.

Each week a guest would perform their own version of Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven". Versions would occasionally tie in with the theme of the episode ("Guns - the Musical" had a Broadway-style version by Jodie Gilles as the conclusion, while the episode on Australian Comedy had the Doug Anthony All Stars performing it with the assistance of Barry Crocker) but the most surprising of all was the version by Rolf Harris which eventually reached number 7 on the UK singles chart. Generally the performance of "Stairway" would be a break in the program and the artists would have no other part in the program. The CD release won an Aria Award in Australia in 1993 and was subsequently released on the Atlantic Label in the USA though truncated.

I'm told there was also a commercially available video with 27 of the STH performances, but alas, it only made it to VHS.

[h/t Peter Scott]

In the Immortal Words of Bobby Darin -- How Was I to Know There Was a Party Going On?

From just last week, and her album When Therapy Fails (heh!), please enjoy Texas-based roots-rocker Pam Ross and her latest (and aptly named) single "Fire in the Hole."

That song kicks some serious ass, I think you'll agree, but the video -- which looks like the live-band-in-a-bar performance I have been searching for what seems like my entire adult life -- just absolutely slays me.

Man -- what I wouldn't give to have been an attendee at the party/show that was shot at.

Oh well. In the meantime, you can (and should) find out more about Pam -- including where to hear and download more of her music -- over at her official website HERE.

BTW, have I mentioned I would have killed to dance with the punk gal with the is-it-a-mohawk-or-isn't it? hairdo cavorting in front of the band? Thank you.

It’s Memorial Day at the Shore: How Proustian!!!

So as attentive readers are aware, a certain Shady Dame and I saw the 2024 edition of the redoubtable Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes last Thursday.

Short version: They were as much fun as always, but to my delighted surprise, they did a wonderful version of this Stones' classic...

...which I was previously unaware they had recorded, but which, it now occurs to me, they must have perfomed numerous times back in their early 70s pre-record deal days as the premier bar band in south Joisey.

Okay -- that's all I have to say about that, except...enjoy the holiday, everybody!

Also: New music -- filmed at what looks like the most fun party in rock-and-roll history -- resumes on the morrow.

La Fin de La Semaine Essay Question: Special "I Don't Think This Relationship Can Be Saved" Edition

Still recovering from last night's live show by Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes -- a bunch of real heroes of mine, and yet I hadn't seen them since well before the pandemic -- so today's intro will be necessarily brief.

In other words, let's get immediately to the weekend's business. To wit:

...and your favorite (or least favorite) post-Elvis pop/rock/country/soul song about a boy/girlfriend from hell, the one that got away, a fucked up romance or a sad break-up is...???

No arbitrary rules, although I was sorely tempted to exclude anything by Joni Mitchell or Taylor Swift, just because I don't give a rodent's behind about either of their romantic problems.

Heh.

Anyway, my nominee is this amazingly catchy yelp by brilliant Chicago power popsters Material Issue.

A song I find hysterically funny, until I remember that MI auteur Jim Ellison offed himself in his garage (carbon monoxide poisoning) shortly after committing it to tape in 1996.

Which is to say it's a lot more autobiographical than anybody knew prior to his sad passing.

In any case, now that I've thoroughly depressed you -- what would YOUR choices be?

And have a great weekend, everybody!!!

Encounters With Greatness (An Occasional Series)

Okay, this is a true story, so cut me some slack.

Once upon a time (actually sometime in 1974) I found myself -- along with my colleagues from my post-college rock band The Hounds -- in the prestigious and normally prohibitively expensive confines of world famous recording studio Electric Lady, on 8th Street in New York's fabled Greenwich Village.

The short version is that the studio was running a program of classes for aspiring recording engineers, and they needed bodies in the studio making noise while they taught the students how to be the next George Martins. I don't recall exactly how we got lucky enough to be such freebie musical guinea pigs, but I do recall that we were acutely aware of our good fortune in this regard, and as a result we were -- uncharacteristically -- well rehearsed and well prepared. I mean hey -- it was the best and in many ways the coolest studio in the freaking world at the time; we weren't gonna fuck around. Especially at those prices.

In any case, we had been gifted with two four-hour sessions on consecutive Saturdays, and our goal was to perform, record and mix one of our original songs, to be used as a demo to knock on record company doors with, before time ran out.

During a brief break in the first session, I meandered into the studio lounge looking for the coffee machine. And to my stunned and delighted surprise, there I ran into none other than Rolling Stones' guitarist Ronnie Wood, making himself a decaf. (I didn't know it at the time, but Wood was working in one of the bigger rooms at E.L., doing sessions for what became his first solo LP, I've Got My Own Album to Do.)

I tried, with what success I know not, to remain cool in the presence of one of my long-time idols, and poured myself a cuppa. And then Wood suddenly said "'Allo mate. Whatcha doin'?"

I mumbled something about what we were up to -- I assume it was utterly incoherent -- and finally he replied "Well, good luck to ya. And use this while you're doin' it."

And then he handed me one of these...

...and exited stage right.

POSTSCRIPTS:

I. I never actually used that pick to play my guitar, but it sat in a place of reverence in a dish on my living room coffee table for at least the next twenty years. (I lost it subsequently; how, I have no idea).

II. In case you were wondering, our E.L. session turned out fabulously. I would have preferred a bigger guitar sound, but nonetheless we ultimately were thoroughly pleased with the finished product -- a delightful piece of Stones-ish punk/pop that we used for the A-side of our DIY single a year or two later.

Which actually sold 800 copies (including a couple overseas) and which is an honorable footnote to rock history, you're welcome very much.

You can listen to it HERE.

Hey -- I said it was a true story. But as I often add on these occasions, I didn't say it was an interesting one.

Your Wednesday Moment of Why Didn't I Get the Memo? (Special "Ripped Jeans Say So Much" Edition)

From her 2005 album Little Fugitive, please enjoy noted woman in rock Amy Rigby and her infectious and kinda touching account of the night she spent "Dancing With Joey Ramone."

I've been a fan of Rigby's since her 1996 debut Diary of a Mad Housewife, but somehow I missed the above until last weekend. Oh well, better late than never.

Oh, and in case you can't make out the lyrics...

He walked into the party looking just like he had in the past
He came up to me and he didn't even have to ask
I tried to say something, he said "Girl, shut your mouth
They're playing Papa Was a Rolling Stone"
Last night I was dancing with Joey Ramone

He was cool with his leather jacket and his little dark shades
He started dancing around, I tried to copy every move he made
When I reached for his hand he kind of brushed me off
Then they played "Hangin' on the Telephone"
Last night when I was dancing with Joey Ramone

They played "The Worst That Could Happen" by the Brooklyn Bridge
"He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)"
"Glad All Over", "Needles and Pins"
"Be My Baby" again and again
"Gloria" by the Shadows of Knight
"He's So Fine" and "I Feel Alright"
"Charlie Brown", "Can't Sit Down"
We were dancin' around and around

Well I closed my eyes for a minute and then he was gone
The room looked different but the music kept playing on
And on and on and on
When I woke up today I had a song in my head
I wanna wanna wanna go home (wanna wanna wanna go)
They played it last night when I was dancing with Joey Ramone
Whoa-oh
Last night I was dancing with Joey Ramone
Last night I was dancing with Joey Ramone
Last night I was dancing with Joey Ramone
1,2,3,4!

C'mon -- isn't that like the cutest thing you've ever heard? Not to mention hooky/catchy as a good Ramones track.

Okay, gotta go now -- have to start writing a song called "Dancing With Taylor Swift."

Sometimes You Just Have to Pick a Side

Exhibit A.

Okay, that totally cracked me up, for any number of reasons. Sorry, Daryl.

I should add that the guy in the shirt is way cool Jersey-born rocker and friend of PowerPop Mike Daly.

Attentive readers will recall my bringing him to their attention back in 2017, when he unleashed this hilarious masterpiece upon an unsuspecting out of state audience.

Anyway, thanks Mike! And thanks again for the other t-shirt...

...which I still wear proudly,

Tomorrow: Back to serious regular posting, and a song that will knock your proverbial socks off!!!

Classic Rock Makes Strange Bedfellows!

Okay, this is disturbing, but it made me laugh anyway.

BTW, I have no idea who's responsible for that photo, but my hat's off to them.

I should probably also add that not only do I dislike both those album covers, but I also dislike both those albums.

But of course that's a story for another time.