Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Headlines For Stories in Today's New York Times That Did Not Motivate Me to Read Further: An Occasional Series

From World's Most Irksome Rock Critic© Jon Caramanica:

Cardi B Is a New Rap Celebrity Loyal to Rap’s Old Rules on ‘Invasion of Privacy’

Cardi B? Seriously? Hey, I saw her the other week on SNL...

...and she's got, as Peter Blegvad famously said of Madonna, at best a teaspoon of talent. And her music is about as interesting as watching paint dry.

If you want to read the piece, here's the link. If you do, however, and if we meet in the future, I will be loathe to shake your hand.


Mark said...

Looking for art in all the wrong places. I too saw the Cardi B SNL, and was kind of interested to see what the hype was about Ms. B, but I couldn't stop laughing at her four vinyl-pants-clad and cheap-sunglasses-wearing back-up dancers. Looks like the outfits were from the Big Apple Circus and the choreography was by the Ringling Brothers. In the same way back-up dancers can add to some performances, they can also make artists look pathetic.

I recall seeing Sufjan Stevens at Prospect Park in Brooklyn a couple of years back - during his Age of Adz tour - where he had a shitload of youngish back-up dancers who looked like Kingsborough Community College Interpretive Dance majors. I like the guy, but for all the work that went into a few big production numbers, I just couldn't stop laughing. I could've been watching an Indie New Age Spinal Tap!

Blue Ash Fan said...

Dancers. Why are there always dancers?

Interesting as watching paint dry? Watching paint dry has never made me want to stick knitting needles through my eardrums.

I'm an old, white guy and I know that I'm not the target demographic, but jeezus, why don't young people today demand better? I simply do not get it.

Now, get off my lawn!

Anonymous said...

If you look closely at the top of her head you'll see that Audrey ll is about to devour her.

Pop music has been so rococo for so long I am beginning to doubt it'll ever come back to anything resembling artistic music.

Captain Al

edward said...

I never knew hip-hop could be this boring. Congratulations, you've achieved successful mediocrity and irrelevance. Can't even claim a good beat to dance to.

Anonymous said...

The most reliable hip hop artist of the last twelve months?! Is that how we assess talent and art now? Regardless of genre, that was some boring, boring stuff.


M_Sharp said...

Make it stop, make it stop.... oh wait, I can! Nice.

MJConroy said...

What the hell is that?? What language is she abusing?
I know I am a grumpy old white guy yelling get off my lawn, but man that is just horrible.

Stu said...

I'm an old white guy and I invite them to my lawn. That act is some mighty nice fertilizer.

stevenology said...

It doesn't get much worse than this. I hope.