Q: What is something you never hear in the music business?A: "There's the banjo player's Porsche."
Q: What do you call a trombonist with a pager?
A: An optimist
Q: What do you call a drummer in a three-piece suit?
A: The defendant.
Q: How do you get a bass player off your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza
Hey -- I'm laid-up with a cold. Regular posting, involving actual writing and real music, resumes tomorrow, Benadryl permitting.
14 comments:
Q: How can you tell when the drum riser is perfectly balanced?
A: When drool runs out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
Q: What do you call the start of a drum solo?
A: A good time to go for a smoke.
Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change the light bulb and three to say, "Aaahh, I could've done that."
Q: What's the definition of a gentleman?
A: Someone who knows how to play the bagpipes but doesn't.
Hope you feel better soon, Steve.
what's the difference between an accordion and an onion?
nobody cries when you cut an accordion in half.
rs
Why do people put drumsticks on the dashboards of their cars?
So they can park in the handicapped spots.
How do you make a musician disappear?
Ask him to listen to your new record.
What did the drummer say to the bandleader?
Do you want me to play too slow or too fast?
Feel better, bud.
How do you get a piano player to stop playing?
Take away his sheet music.
How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?
Put sheet music in front of him.
Q: What's the definition of avant-garde?
A: It's a French phrase meaning "can't find the note."
What does the singer use for contraception? Her personality.
Q: How many Punk Rockers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 21. One to hold the ladder, one to screw in the bulb and 19 on the guest list.
Q: What do you call a drummer who broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless
Keep them coming!!! I haven't laughed this much in a long long time!!!
Captain Al
Cash and Carey, an Irish banjo duo, get a gig in Scotland. The pay is so low that to make any profit they have to travel cheaply as possible, so they book passage on a manure barge.
When the barge gets to Scottish Customs, the Customs agent says, "What are you carrying?"
The Captain says, "Six hundred pounds of manure and the banjo duo Cash and Carey"
The Customs agent says, "Okay," and lets them pass.
Carey goes up to the Captain and says, "If it's all the same to you, Captain, ya think we could have top billing on the way back?"
I have a co-worker who's from Dublin and I am DEFINITELY telling him that Cash & Carey joke this week :-) :-)
Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?
A: She can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
What's the definition of perfect pitch? When you throw the banjo in the dumpster and don't hit the accordion.
Q: What do you ask two banjo players who are playing really fast?
A: Planning to do the score for a car chase?
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