Friday, December 14, 2007

Weekend Listomania (Special Hubba Hubba! Video Edition)

Well, it's Friday and you know what that means. Yes, my Oriental manservant Hop-Sing and I are off to a prayer retreat with Republican presidential cadidate Alan Keyes, a man who absolutely, positively is not
batshit insane, so our lives will probably not be in jeopardy. Nevertheless, posting by moi will be necessarily sporadic for a while while we find out for sure.

But in my absence, here's a fun project for you all to contemplate:

All-Time Pop/Rock Female Sex Object
You know -- the cutest, the hottest, the most historically significant, the one that you most wanted to boink. However you define it, either solo artist or in a band.

My carefully considered Top Ten:

10. The Duchess (Bo Diddley's gorgeous sister)

Note: She's the one with the guitar.

9. Joan Jett

I would so switch teams for that woman.

8. Kim Wilde

Those lips! Those eyes! Those cheekbones!!!

7. Patti Smith

Around the time this clip was made, Patti famously told a magazine that she'd actually jerked off to her album cover, just to see what it would be like for her fans. I find that...intriguing.

6. Marianne Faithfull

Wotta babe.

5. Grace Slick

Wotta babe.

4. Courtney Love

Hey, what can I tell you -- as NYMary put it, I like 'em disheveled.

3. Chrissie Hynde

Oy gevalt.

2. Pink

Look in the dictionary under "fiercely erotic" and there's a picture of her.

...and my number one all-time rock female sex object is....

1. Ronnie Spector!!!

Ah, Ronnie. Has there ever been a sexier video for a crappy song by a doughy white guy who gets upstaged by his female guest star? Seriously -- that silhouetted wiggle, that cigarette being crushed by the high heel, that first moment when she sings "Be my little baby...." God, I love that woman.

Okay -- who are your faves?


Anonymous said...

I've gotta post the most obvious first. The first time I saw Debbie Harry and Blondie, I was probably 11 and
this came on the tv.

Then the whole male-female thing made perfect sense to me.

More later.

steve simels said...


As Steve Forbert famously said --

"She sure is purty."

A little ice queen for my taste, but hey....

Anonymous said...

A few more...


Suzi Quatro

Poison Ivy Rorshach, of the Cramps

Eartha Kitt

Exene Cervenka (my version of Patti Smith and Courtney Love)

Terri Nunn

Neko Case


The Donnas

The Pipettes (I'll take the one on the left)

Anonymous said...

Annie Lennox doing Sweet Dreams.

Gary said...

Susanna Hoffs
Alison Krauss
Corinne Bailey Rae

steve simels said...

Alison Kraus...

I don't know when she became a glamour puss, but yeah.....

TJWood said...

Well, I suppose someone's got to put Dusty Springfield in there. The quote from Elton John said it best: "(She was) enough to turn a gay man straight". One woman I do remember making an impression on me in the '70's was Annie Haslam of Renaissance, a woman who just exuded understated elegance. For more recent power-pop examples, Gary has already mentioned Susanna Hoffs, I'll include all of the Bangles, particularly "All Over The Place"-era Bangles.

NYMary said...

I'm not sure she's pop, but Kirsty MacColl is quite popular around here.

And I loves me some Anna Waronker.

NYMary said...

More Waronker.

Also, Thers loves these women.

Smitty Werbenmanjensen said...

How could the two Kims--Gordon and Deal--not make the list?

steve simels said...

Speaking of the Bangles, I was going to include bassist Michael Steele, but I thought everyone would laugh at me.

She was the one who really did it for me...that aubergine hair.

Which reminds me -- Roseanne Cash!!!!

Anonymous said...

Which reminds me -- Roseanne Cash!!!!

Oh. indeed! (AND Carlene Carter circa 1980.)
Allison Moorer
Kelly Hogan
Sally Timms
(Hmmm. there seems to be a "theme" here... Starts compiling Buckner's "Women of Alt-Country" mix...)
- bill buckner

Unknown said...

Divinyls - Christina Amphlett

but don't touch yourself

Anonymous said...

Well, Kate Bush is getting a little long in the tooth, but back in the day...

As for me, you can take 'em all as long as you leave Danielle Dax.

Unknown said...

Holly Beth Vincent

hear new CD on myspace

Feral said...

Saw Heart as an opening act about '76, 4th row seats. Ann could sure sing, but Oh, Nancy...

Anonymous said...

Shirley Manson
Clare Grogan
Annabella Luwin
the chick from Missing Persons
Lydia Lunch

Anonymous said...

If Marilyn Monroe were alive today, she'd still blow everyone else out of the water.

Still don't believe me?

How about now?

Still the ultimate sex goddess. But as far as current women are concerned: I'm in the Chrissie Hynde/Joan Jett camp ... both of whom are sort of the exact opposite of Marilyn. Which is one more thing that makes sex ... um ... interesting ...

Anonymous said...

One more thing about Marilyn... I deliberately didn't choose "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" because Madonna so blatantly exploited it for "Material Girl", and I consider Madonna a sex vacuum ... not only is she decidedly non-erotic, she sucks the life out of everyone else.

Still, I suppose it's the video most closely related to the category, for precisely the reason that Madonna fucked with it.

Anonymous said...

How did I forget HOPE SANDOVAL?!

Anonymous said...

Some rules I set for myself before compiling my list:

1 - I did not look at any other lists posted above so I may duplicated other mentioned names.

2 - I have to be both attracted to the woman physically and to the voice. Thus Arthea Franklin and Martha Reeves were eliminated on the physical side and Nico on the voice. (Nico is my shiksa goddess but her voice always bored me)

Here we go:

The above mentioned by Steve: Grace Slick, Ronnie Spector, Chrissie Hynde and Patti Smith. All favorites!!!

I would also included:

Emmylou Harris: She has gotten more beautiful and sings better with age!

Exene: Besides Patti my other punk goddess!

Lucinda Williams: Her singing and looks break my heart.

Irma Thomas: The one time I saw here perform live my knees got weak and I could barely speak to her after the show.

Cheri Knight: Sometimes I like quiet good looks and a voice I just melt into.

Sandy Denny: Her voice was amazing and her was such a cutie!

Finally (OK, I'm cheating with this one!) Mary Wilson:
To this day I have no idea what her voice sounds like but she was the Supreme I was excited by when ever they appeared on Ed Sullivan. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Diana Ross: who's she?

Slig said...

There can be only one:

Miki Berenyi

Anonymous said...

Jane Wiedlin

Anonymous said...

I met Jane Wiedlin at a Big Apple Convention in NYC last year and she was very sweet and very hot looking!!!

MBowen said...

Françoise Hardy - Ooh la la!

TLC - Not my favorite style of music, but these are three gorgeous women

Rickie Lee Jones - I saw her perform earlier this year, and she's still gorgeous (and to be crass, she's still got a great body!)

Kid Charlemagne said...

If you don't know any of these artists, you should check into them:

1. Poly Styrene (X Ray Spex)

2. Gaye Advert (Adverts)

3. Pauline Murray - (Penetration)

4. Penelope Houston (The Avengers)

steve simels said...

I must say...

our commenters have very good taste.

The Kenosha Kid said...

What do I win?

steve simels said...


The thanks of a grateful nation.

And consider yourself lucky!!!

TMink said...

Pink does not do it for me. Just about everyone else mentioned was as good as mangos.

Who was the fetching lead singer from A Group Called Smith? Attractive lady there, and their version of "Baby It's You" is a keeper.

Hope Sandavol and Kate Bush are outstanding choices. Bravo!

And let's not forget the cosmic foil to Grace Slick, Joni!


Anonymous said...

I forgot to say that i lurve Sandy Denny!

TJWood said...

Trey asked:Who was the fetching lead singer from A Group Called Smith?

Her name was Gayle McCormick. The band was actually called Smith. A Group Called Smith was the name of their debut album, from which their cover of "Baby It's You" came. Another interesting tidbit from the band's
Wikipedia entry: The band was discovered by Del Shannon, who got them signed to ABC/Dunhill.

Anonymous said...

Kid Charlemagne said...
I forgot to say that i lurve Sandy Denny!

Don't even get me started on her. An absolute goddess....

-- steve simels

Anonymous said...

I've noticed a definite lack of any of the recent ladies from the current country field. In my opinion what is called country today sure sounds like what I always knew as rock 10 or 20 years ago - it's just (sometimes) sung with a twang.
Keeping that in mind I really think some of them should be eligible for inclusion on this list. Following the rules laid down earlier by The Plumber which seemed very reasonable allow me to add:
1)Shania Twain
2)Miranda Lambert
3)The lady that used to host the late night jazz program on the local public radio station (I have no idea what she really looked like but I know what she looked like in my mind)
4)Raquel Welch - I have no idea if she can sing a lick but I'm willing to give her the benefit of a doubt.

Anonymous said...

I know I'm very late to the party. But I have to mention a few noteworthy goth women...

Sharon den Adel from Within Temptation

Karin from Collide

Cristina Scabbia from Lacuna Coil

steve simels said...

Ooh...Goth chicks.

Man, if they'd had them back when I was in high school....

jonbecker03 said...

i'd have to say that ronnie spector was the ultimate sex symbol. certainly in the pop music world. and she was sexier than most of the big screen icons, marilyn monroe included. she's much less well known than marilyn because there was an intimidating, almost scary edge to her sexuality. marilyn was erotic, but to some extent she was a domesticated, sanitized sex symbol. ronnie was somehow "dangerous," like a barely contained ball of sexual energy. and this kind of raw sexuality may have actually HURT her career........