It Came From the Outer Boros (An Occasional Series): Special "Domestic Bliss" Edition

From just last week, please enjoy pride-of-Brooklyn pop/punk youngsters Wifey and their infectious and hilarious debut single "Mary Ann Leaves the Band."

I gotta say, I haven't heard anything quite as cool as as that since the glory days of Fountains of Wayne (who, you will not be surprised to learn, Wifey proudly claims as an influence). Meanwhile, in case you can't make them out amidst the glorious clatter of the jangly guitars and stuff, here are some representative lyrics...

It's mostly men in the marching band/ And not one girl's half as cute

As Mary Ann at her music stand/ My God, that girl knew how to handle a flute

Told her my name at the football game/ And once again when we played the state fair

But ever since she met Johnny K/ Well her priorities have been elsewhere

Mary Ann finds herself a man and then the band starts falling apart

Mary Ann finds herself a man and then the band starts falling apart

Now here she is, skipping practices/ The kids in woodwind are all licking their wounds

I sit alone with my saxophone/ But Mr S won't let me play the blues

The music school don't feel as cool/ The other girls are relieved

But since you quit, we play like shit/ I'm jumping ship for the chess team

Oh Mary Ann, I beg of thee/ I'm pining for you as we plod through Yankee Doodle Dandy

This Becky girl can't play your parts as skillfully as you/ Her breath control is spotty, and I heard that she eats glue

Sure Johnny's got a car, and his sleeve tattoos are cool/ But don't you think it's kind of weird he hangs around the high school?

He's 32 years old and he still lives with his mom/ Pretty sure it's illegal for him to come to the prom

And let me just say, and for the record, that reading the above was the most fun I've had with my clothes on so far this year.

Meanwhile , these kids...

...describe themselves thusly (and be prepared -- this is without question the greatest band promo bio in rock history).

Wifey is a Brooklyn power-pop band formed by Teddy Grey and Carly Kerr, two hot dorks who prove that the theater-kid to punk-rocker pipeline is still claiming innocent victims. After working together on an R-rated Garfield musical (don’t ask), the two bonded over a mutual love of bubblegrunge, emo, and DIY, and began crafting the catchiest songs ever written. They were soon joined in marriage by Mickey Blurr on lead guitar, and Chris Canieso on drums, and the rest is history. The honeymoon phase never has to end with Wifey, thanks to their earworm hooks, enticingly questionable lyrics, and lovely harmonies that could only come from the happiest of marriages. Matrimony never looked so good.

Debut EP “Just A Tease,” (alternate title: “Future Classics”) is the first taste of their ear-candy. Mixed and mastered by Billy Mannino (oso oso, Ben Quad, saturdays at your place), “Just A Tease” features five songs that will remain lodged in your head forever, whether you like it or not. In a scene revolving around confessional songwriting and baring your soul, Wifey has the decency to be tasteless, and are deep enough to be shallow. The hole for loud, dumb pop songs is wide open and Wifey is more than happy to fill it.

With hooky tunes revolving around timeless subjects such as getting drunk, girls whose names end in Anne, and the addictive substance known only as “Candysauce,” Wifey is a power-pop band with real power. Influenced heavily by the melodic punks that came before them (Lemonheads, Green Day, Joyce Manor) and embodying the “Don’t bore us, get to the chorus” ethos, Wifey’s songs are as exciting as a sugar rush, and only slightly less hazardous to your health.

Hey -- they had me at "the theater-kid to punk-rocker pipeline." Absolutely priceless. Anyway, I can't wait to hear more of their stuff -- like that aforementioned EP promised for later this year? C'mon guys, get with it!!!

Bottom line: Wifey is my new favorite band, and I'll keep you posted on what's going on with them as things develop.