Monday, August 09, 2021

Assholes I Have Met In Showbiz (An Occasional Series)

Let me begin by offering you all a good cheap laugh at my expense with this photo of me (second from left, wearing a really stupid Bruce Springsteen cap) backstage at My Father's Place in Roslyn, NY. With Lucy [sister of Carly] Simon (seated on the floor) and a bunch of other folks who comprised the Lucy Simon Band at the time (Thanksgiving, 1975).

I was playing highly inadequate lead guitar in said ensemble...

...but the other more talented folks on-stage included a couple of my old high school garage band chums and Jerry Marrotta, a very nice guy and thorough-going pro who went on to be the drummer for Orleans. I won't bring up that album cover in which he and the rest of Orleans are posed shirtless, but I'm sure you remember it.

Okay, yes I will bring it up.

Good lord, that's hideous.

In any case, for this particular four day engagement, we were the opening act for Aztec Two-Step, a folkie duo whose second album had just come out (on RCA Records, as was Lucy's then current debut LP).

I knew Aztec Douchebag, as I used to refer to them, from my college days at C.W. Post; they were big, as they say, on Long Island, and they used to play the campus coffee house all the time. I thoroughly loathed them for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that they came off with a major and thoroughly undeserved star attitude, but mostly it was the music that rankled. In particular this little ditty, which was the lead track from their major label debut album in '71. (Said album, by the way, was titled Aztec Two-Step. It's a line from a Ferlinghetti poem, which also ticked me off.)

Seriously, the mere thought of that song made me want to smack them on sight on numerous occasions, although cooler heads prevailed. In any case, as far as I was concerned these guys made Zager and Evans sound like Marx and Engels.

Anyway, on the first night of the billing, those two hippie putzes came off with the same major "WE'RE CELEBRITIES" attitude I recalled from college. But then, after the show, a wonderful thing happened.

I was standing in the wings, smoking a cigarette, and (unbeknownst to them) I overheard their manager talking to them in words to this effect: "Hey -- Rex, Neal; that guitarist with Lucy Simon is a rock critic. Be as nice to him as possible and maybe he'll plug your album in his magazine."

And for the next three days, they kissed my ass with passionate intensity. Although to me, of course, it felt like transparent smarmy insincerity. Which it was.

Also, of course, they never realized that I was smirking inside every time they waxed obsequious.

And needless to say, I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it. A lot.

And no, I didn't go on to say something nice about the album, although I did write about the experience (sans reference to Aztec Douchebag) at the Magazine Formerly Known as Stereo Review. Don't worry, though -- I have no intention of inflicting THAT one on you.

6 comments:

Sal Nunziato said...

The short guy on the left with the Avery Schreiber moustache was a semi-regular at NYCD and he was exactly as you described. Aztec had just released a new record, their first in who knows how long and he a)got annoyed that I didn't recognize him, b)insisted he sign a copy of the CD for our wall of autographs, even though I didn't ask. This wall included Ray Davies, Marianne Faithful, Noddy Holder, Peter Buck, Peter Wolf, all four Kiss members, all of Guns N Roses, and now...Aztec Two Step. He signed the CD and would come in checking to see if it was placed properly on the wall. Never bought a thing, I might add.

I told him I had seen Aztec open for Heart in Central Park in 1978. He asked what I thought? I said, "Heart were great."

edward said...

I always thought Aztec Two Step was a play on Montezuma's Revenge, but what to I know?

neal t said...

I thought they were from x the pond! I may of seen them up there opening for Elvis on a pier punch the clock maybe. anyway luv 2 c the original magazine piece we can handle it!

pete said...

Opened for them in Atlanta around this time but I didn't like their music enough to want to find out whether they were nice guys or not. PS. This George Gerdes song I recently posted on FB seems germane. Music starts around 125. https://youtu.be/WjIkIrY2dgU

Anonymous said...

I have met Rex of Aztec Two Step several times in recent years and he is a much nicer guy in the 2000's!



Captain Al

Phil Cheese said...

Loved reading this one Steve!