Friday, October 12, 2007

Weekend Listomania (Fingernails on the Blackboard Edition)

Well, it's Friday and you know what that means. Yes, my Oriental manservant Hop-Sing and I are off to Florida for a quiet weekend with the intriguingly mannish beautiful Ann Coulter. Apparently she's having some people of the Hebraic persuasion over and we're going to "perfect" them (I'm not quite sure what that means, but I'm sure it doesn't involve torture.) So posting by moi will be necessarily sporadic for a while.

But in my absence, here's a fun project for you all to contemplate:

Worst. Guitar. Solo. Ever!!!!!
You know -- just the ugliest, clumsiest or most self-indulgent thing your ears have ever beheld. With luck, turned to 11.

My strictly off the top of my head Top Two:

A tie between

Neil Innes (The Bonzo Dog Band) -- The Canyons of Your Mind



and

Uncredited session guy (Tom Jones) -- It's Not Unusual



I should note in passing that when recording "Canyons," Innes was consciously striving to come up with the worst solo ever and I think you'll agree he succeeded. Bottom line: a feat deserving of respect from all those who walk upright. (And he could do it live, as I personally witnessed at the Fillmore East in 1969).

As for the Jones song, I was unable to find a clip of Tom lip-synching the actual record; the solo here (by an Australian hack whose name is lost down the echoing corridors of time) is not, alas, a note for note recreation of the original, but the rest of the arrangement is the same and in context the solo is almost as awful in its atonal cluelessness as its role model.

Okay -- and your choice would be??????

Postcript: I can't believe I forgot Blue Cheer.



The part where he goes WEE-ah WEE-ah!!!!! is pretty hilarious, but the freakout at the end is just so bad I can't believe it. Speed kills, man.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

this is a goof, but...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClA0OcwJ-8E

steve simels said...

Oh, that one DEFINITELY counts...
:-)

The Humanist said...

Scotty Moore's solo on Elvis' "Heartbreak Hotel"

Stan Freberg said "It was close to jazz"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-x9kwLE-XtM

Anonymous said...

I don't knpow if it counts as a solo, but the elecric-guitar part in Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" has some horrifying moments.

Anonymous said...

I wanna say the guitar solo in the Kingsmen's "Louie, Louie"

Plus, they fuck up at a point before they went back into the verse.

TMink said...

Dirk Nasty indeed!

The recording of Tom shows that he was really a very good r&b singer who struggled with really bad material.

But both solos were really quite bad!

Trey

Anonymous said...

Worst I've ever heard is from the putrid, gawd-awful Everything I Do (I Do For You) by Bryan Adams. I've got more melody when I'm tuning up.

(And there shall be no video of this posted. I already caused enough harm just bringing it up.)

Anonymous said...

Hubby informs me it MUST be "any solo by Tom Scholz of Boston, which amounts to endless rip-offs of Telstar".

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kid Charlemagne said...

Hubby informs me it MUST be "any solo by Tom Scholz of Boston, which amounts to endless rip-offs of Telstar".



Actually, Listen to the chord sequence of the chorus of "More than a Feeling."

It IS "Louie, Louie"!

The Kenosha Kid said...

Jonathan Richman & the Modern Lovers - Old World.

(guitar solo starts 2 minutes in).

The Kenosha Kid said...

Actually, Listen to the chord sequence of the chorus of "More than a Feeling."

It IS "Louie, Louie"!


Not it isn't! It's "Smells Like Teen Spirit!"

Anonymous said...

Any Bob Weir slide guitar solo from 1978 on. (There are a few on official releases but I'm not going back to listen to them just to provide you with names!)

Proof that being an interesting and original rhythm guitarist doesn't mean you can play lead guitar. Ever. Or should even try.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and if we're talking intentionally bad solos, you have to include Crow T. Robot's Jerry Garcia spoof in the MST episode, The Dead Talk Back.

I am a huge Dead fan from way back, but man, the first time I saw that, I laughed until I couldn't breathe.

Anonymous said...

I happen to think Yo La Tengo a wonderful band (pace Mr. Simels), but Ira Kaplan has indulged in far too many guitar-slamming freak-outs on stage. At one show I saw he did something like five - and they were very, very long.

But that said, the most excruciating solo I've ever endured was Carrie Brownstein's at the Bowery Ballroom some years back. I loved Sleater-Kinney back in the day, but I hated those last two records. Besides Corin's decision to shriek every syllable, Carrie tried to "rock out" hard and at length, with minimal chops. Here is a sample:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4T08bEUbV8k

(And yes, I know Carrie's hot, but please...)

steve simels said...


But that said, the most excruciating solo I've ever endured was Carrie Brownstein's at the Bowery Ballroom some years back. I loved Sleater-Kinney back in the day, but I hated those last two records. Besides Corin's decision to shriek every syllable, Carrie tried to "rock out" hard and at length, with minimal chops. Here is a sample:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=4T08bEUbV8k

(And yes, I know Carrie's hot, but please...)

10/12/2007 10:51 PM


I love you.


Seriously -- don't even get me started on bands that don't have bass players.
:-)

Mister Pleasant said...

loved Sleater-Kinney back in the day, but I hated those last two records.

10/12/2007 10:51 PM

Really? I find their final album "The Woods" to be one of a handful of essential rock recordings from the last twenty years. Not that a good review holds much weight, but that album was in the top five of 2005 on Metacritic based on 35 reviews, including Mojo, Pitchfork, and The Village Voice. Carrie's solos are from the anti-metal school. No runs or arrpeggios, just gut-checking rhythmic onslaughts. I find it incredibly refreshing.

As for my choice for worst, Steve hit the nail on the head with Blue Cheer. Ugh.

steve simels said...

Gummo said...

Oh, and if we're talking intentionally bad solos, you have to include Crow T. Robot's Jerry Garcia spoof in the MST episode, The Dead Talk Back.


I remember the episode but not the solo. Think I'll go YouTube it...

And I wonder who played it. Mike Nelson is the keyboard guy...

Anonymous said...

And I wonder who played it. Mike Nelson is the keyboard guy...

They brought in a friend, a Deadhead, to do the solo 'cause Mike's keys just didn't sound right.

He got all of Garcia's cliches just right, including the use of up-&-down scales in solos, hitting a wrong note & playing it over & over in true PeeWee Herman fashion ("I meant to do that!"), and that famous inverse wah-wah sound.

Anonymous said...

Carrie's solos are from the anti-metal school. No runs or arrpeggios, just gut-checking rhythmic onslaughts.

Carrie's playing strikes me not as anti-metal so much as wannabe. (And I certainly don't hear rhythm.) Fifteen years ago I told my guitar teacher I thought punk had become a burden, that once-revisionist methods had become entrenched, and an excuse. Years later, hearing The Woods just seemed further proof of my prejudice. To my ears, it's '70s excess without the technique; a solution of equal parts Ramones, Rush, and water.

(I hereby beg forgiveness of the gods of the Power Pop blog for perhaps ranting in the wrong place.)

steve simels said...


(I hereby beg forgiveness of the gods of the Power Pop blog for perhaps ranting in the wrong place.)


Not to worry. It's not like the Blog Police are going to arrest you or anything...

And I agree about Sleater-Kinney. I think their whole style is an affectation, and I've thought that since day one.

Bands without bass players suck. Even the White Stripes, and they're great.

Anonymous said...

I can't really think of a bad guitar solo since the better part of my formative years was immersed in the Guitar God genre. Maybe I just don't pay enough attention.

One thing that's often bothered me, though, is guitar solos that merely echo the main vocal line. C'mon, put some effort into it!

As for bands without bass, The Black Keys do a pretty good job, but it's kind of odd that there's such a Jack Bruce sound in a bass-less band.

Anonymous said...

Can't believe no one has mentioned latter-day Bob Dylan yet (actually his solo on BoB's "Leopard-Skin Pillbox Hat" was nothing to write home about, either). I mean, I love the guy more than most of you, but c'mon...

Heather said...

He got all of Garcia's cliches just right, including the use of up-&-down scales in solos, hitting a wrong note & playing it over & over in true PeeWee Herman fashion ("I meant to do that!"), and that famous inverse wah-wah sound
I know someone who has to see that.

That Blue Cheer solo is God-awful.

dave™© said...

Jonathan Richman & the Modern Lovers - Old World.

If you're talking "The Modern Lovers" record, with Jerry Harrison - that's the prototype of the guitar-organ solo in the Talking Heads' "Take Me to the River".

BTW, the greatest great solo meant to sound bad goes to the solo in the second break of Steely Dan's "My Old School". Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

^^ nice blog!! ^@^

徵信, 徵信網, 徵信社, 徵信社, 感情挽回, 婚姻挽回, 挽回婚姻, 挽回感情, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信, 捉姦, 徵信公司, 通姦, 通姦罪, 抓姦, 抓猴, 捉猴, 捉姦, 監聽, 調查跟蹤, 反跟蹤, 外遇問題, 徵信, 捉姦, 女人徵信, 女子徵信, 外遇問題, 女子徵信, 外遇, 徵信公司, 徵信網, 外遇蒐證, 抓姦, 抓猴, 捉猴, 調查跟蹤, 反跟蹤, 感情挽回, 挽回感情, 婚姻挽回, 挽回婚姻, 外遇沖開, 抓姦, 女子徵信, 外遇蒐證, 外遇, 通姦, 通姦罪, 贍養費, 徵信, 徵信社, 抓姦, 徵信, 徵信公司, 徵信社, 徵信公司, 徵信社, 徵信公司, 女人徵信,

徵信, 徵信網, 徵信社, 徵信網, 外遇, 徵信, 徵信社, 抓姦, 徵信, 女人徵信, 徵信社, 女人徵信社, 外遇, 抓姦, 徵信公司, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 女人徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 女子徵信社, 女子徵信社, 女子徵信社, 女子徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信社,

徵信, 徵信社,徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 外遇, 抓姦, 離婚, 外遇,離婚,

徵信社,徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信,徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信, 外遇, 抓姦, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社, 徵信社,徵信,徵信, 徵信, 外遇, 抓姦