Monday, January 09, 2012

Those Who Can Rock, Do. Those Who Can't, Become Rock Critics.

Okay, here's some stuff I've been trying to locate for going on four years now, and which I finally stumbled across on the Net yesterday -- thus proving that a) I need a life and b) the Intertubes remain a wondrous thing.

From 1973, then, please enjoy L.A. glam-rock almost contenders Christopher Milk and their surprisingly credible cover version of Terry Reid's cult-favorite "Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace."





I say "surprisingly credible" for reasons that will become obvious in a few moments, but in any case, Christopher Milk were the brainchild of the irrepressible John Mendelssohn [the tall guy with the bad hair second from right in the photo]. He and a few of the other Milks had previously been in an early version of Sparks with the Mael Brothers, but John was mostly known at the time -- late 60s and early 70s -- as one of the most influential (and certainly the funniest) of the reviewers at Rolling Stone; he famously wrote a pan of Led Zeppelin II in which he opined that Jimmy Page was "the absolute number-one heaviest white blues guitarist between 5'4" and 5'8" in the world."

On a more personal note, I should add that John won my heart as an early champion of The Kinks (he compiled and annotated the vastly influential The Kink Kronikles double LP for Reprise) and that his rave RS review of The Move's Shazam quite literally changed my life. I also was privileged to assign him a couple of pieces during my early tenure at The Magazine Formerly Known as Stereo Review; at some point, there was some kind of a problem (as there often was) with my editor-in-chief, and John -- like Paul Nelson, later -- become persona non grata at the rag. But to my knowledge there were no lasting hard feelings, and I've talked to him, quite civilly although occasionally, over the years since.

But I digress.

In any event, the Milk began their career with a 7-inch EP available as a promo-only on United Artists, which I remember as being sort of vaguely sub-Zappa whimsy/mishegass, but they soon got signed to a major label -- Warner/Reprise (where John had connections thanks to his promo work for the Kinks) -- and in 1972 they unleashed their one and only album, the amusingly monikered Some People Will Drink Anything, to a largely uncaring world. The album should have been better than it was, in part due to first-rate production by former Beatles engineer Chris Thomas (who of course went on to make truly great records with everybody from Procol Harum to the Sex Pistols and The Pretenders), but alas it was hampered, perhaps fatally, by wayward songwriting and the fact that Mendelssohn was probably not as memorable a frontman as he most likely saw himself. I actually listened to the LP several times back in the day -- Mendelssohn, after all, was the first rock critic to secure a big time recording contract, and if he could, anything seemed possible (if you catch my drift). But try as I might, I was never able to remember a single song on the album (save for a less amusing than it should have been heavy metal cover/parody of "Locomotion" which may or may not have influenced Grand Funk and Todd Rundgren) after I was done.

Which brings us to "Speak Now," recorded for a 45 in a last ditch attempt (unsuccessful, obviously) to get a hit and prevent Reprise from dropping the band from its roster. Like I said, given everything it's surprisingly credible. In fact, it's one of the Great Lost Singles of the '70s -- perhaps not quite as well sung as Reid's version, but in all other ways, to my surprise, superior both to the original and to the later and more celebrated Cheap Trick cover; clearly it's also the highpoint of the Milk's career in the studio.

Of course, the b-side, a version of "I Wanna Hold Your Hand' done as a send-up of Bob Dylan and Leon Russell, is shall we say less impressive.



I mean, I know it's supposed to be a piss-take, but I find it mostly unlistenable rather than risible. Your mileage may vary, however.

Anyway, if you're curious, you can download -- gratis -- both the United Artists EP and Some People in their entirety over here, although I offer no assurances that you'll thank me if you do.

[h/t The Pipe]

18 comments:

Dave said...

Four fun facts related to your post:

1. I bought the Christopher Milk album because I enjoyed Mendelssohn's humor in RS and local L.A. publications.

2. I had heard the Move's first album a few times and didn't have much of a reaction to it. But J.M.'s passionate advocacy of "Shazam" got me off my butt and to the record store, much to my gain. For that I've always had a soft spot for Mendelssohn.

That said, I think I like the album even less than you do, Steve.

3. John is alive and still neurotic, and posting on his blog infrequently: http://johnmendelssohn.blogspot.com/

4. Russ Mael was the quarterback of my high school's football team.

danny1959 said...

The Beatles one is truly horrid. I can't agree that their version is better than either Reid's or Cheap Trick's. Mendelssohn just doesn't have a very good voice, unfortunately.

steve simels said...

For what it's worth, that's not Mendelssohn singing on the Reid cover -- it's guitarist Ralph Oswald.

joe p said...

reading mendelssohn in rolling stone in the early '70s, i'd formed an image of him as a short-haired, scowling, possibly mustachioed figure in a black trench coat...something not unlike a ron mael. that would have been better than the photo...even for the '70s, that is one bunch of truly horrible hairdos.

buzzbabyjesus said...

I bought the Kinks Kronikles at an impressionable age, and the liners, well, made an impression. Somehow I knew Mendelssohn had songwriter aspiration, probably from Stereo Review. Seems to me he was working on a song cycle tentatively (and apparently aptly) titled "Masturpieces".
I got through 57 seconds of the b-side. "Speak Now" sounds a lot like my memory of the original with the cheesy organ sound, and even thinner vocals.
Cheap Trick's version IMHO is the definitive.

Sal Nunziato said...

It's hard to go wrong with this song. This version is good! Would love to hear it cleaned up. Still, my money is on the CT version, which is the very first thing I heard by Rick. Robin, Tom and Bun E. and I've never looked back.

edward said...

The I Wanna Hold Your Hand cover sounds like an overproduced Wreckless Eric single.

Maude Lange said...

The EP is quite good - much better than the album. They were also pretty good live - more music, less snark (though hardly snarkless). They usually opened with a mighty fine version of Hello Susie. A bright light in those dark days of early 70s LA.

steve simels said...

I'm gonna listen to the EP later...the album I checked out again over the weekend, and still can't warm up to....

tommy quest said...

got to 11 seconds on the hand single and had to stop - utter twaddle! my tolerance for such has decreased as my age has increased - i have become my parents.

and yes, i think cheap trick still "owns" this song because of zander's vocals and bun's big beats but would love to hear others cover this great song.

word verification : honski!

JZ said...

I have mixed feelings about Mendelssohn. No question he was right on the money about Shazam and The Kink Kronikles is one of the greatest compilation albums ever released, with fine liners.

That said, I still can't forgive his liners to The Great Lost Kinks LP. They were included as an insert; Medelssohn suddenly turned on Ray with a vengeance that really upset me at the time. It's the only occasion where I actually tore the liners up and threw them away; it made me that mad. It struck me as a very cheap shot, probably due to the group jumping to RCA. It still rankles...he can be very funny though. He reviewed a Kraftwerk album in RS (I can't remember which one but it was circa 1976). He wrote the review as if it were an owners manual for a car...:)

Boy from Susquehanna said...

JM also wrote a book about the Kinks in 1985 also titled "Kinks Kronikles". Great book. I didn't know he also dabbled in music. I think I will continue to think of him as a writer...

steve simels said...

JM actually quoted me a couple of times in that Kinks book. I think it was the first time I'd ever been used as a reference.
:-)

buzzbabyjesus said...

I just dug out my copy of "The Great Lost Kinks Album" to review the liner insert and in Mendelssohn's defense I have to say that after the run of "Face To Face" through "Arthur", "Muswell Hillbillies" and "Everybody's In Show Biz" were pretty good but "Preservation" was fairly hard to take. And everything after that?

JZ said...

If memory serves, TGLKA came out at about the same time as Preservation Act 1, and may have even preceded Preservation a bit. I have always enjoyed Muswell Hillbillies, Show Biz is uneven but has it's moments, Supersonic Rocket Ship and Hollywood Boulevard are the high points for me. I think Act 1 of Preservation is a lot better than Act II; I've always liked Demolition. Maybe because the town I was growing up in at the time (Laurel, Maryland) was being raped by real estate developers, just as Ray described--malls and condos going up everywhere--and I really identified with the song.

This is not to say that I entirely disagree with JM's point in the GLKA liners, but I thought he went way overboard in making his argument, and again I think it had to do with the Kinks jumping ship more than anything else.

Jonathan F. King said...

Two personal points of contact with John M., from long ago:

One, Christopher Milk played a dance at my UCLA dorm (Rieber Hall) in late 1968 sometime. They covered some Who songs, and I liked them.

Two, I worked with John for a spell during our tenures (mine medium-long, his not-so-long) as toilers in type for Larry Flynt in late'70s Los Angeles, following on the removal to those climes of the Hustler magazine empire. We got along fairly well, on the strength of our mutual fondness for Britrock and loathing of the Flynts. He was definitely glammed up by that point, in contrast to the sartorial approach of early Christopher Milk, which I recall, vaguely, as mostly mufti. I also remember his ongoing relationship issues with a woman he referred to as (I may not have this exactly right...) Lobsterhead.

And just what is wrong with Shazam? Epic then, epic now ... and I'm not even tripping.

Anonymous said...

You can find out what the band has been up to by checking out Facebook. The Fan Club page was originally started by Surly Ralph Oswald's wife as a joke, but has generated interest from friends and fans.

Anonymous said...

John Mendelsohn is alive, well and currently in LA after living for several years in London with his second wife Claire ("Lobsterhead" was first wife Leslie). He is an author, journalist and prolific writer of his own music, some of which can be heard on Soundcloud (search for John Mendelssohn with 2 s's).