Well, it's Friday and you know what that means. Yes, my Cialis Museum curator Fah Lo Suee and I will be off to...oh hell, just insert GOP anti-HCR congressperson du jour joke here. I haven't got the energy to write one myself at this point.
That being the case, further posting by moi will have to be sporadic for a day or two while I try to recharge my batteries. That GQ spread (heh!) on Rielle Hunter might do the trick, of course.
In the meantime, then, here's a hopefully fun little project for us all:
The Rock and Roll Hall of Shame -- Most Embarassingly Awful Moments Ever Perpetrated in the Name of the Music We Love By People Who Really, Really Should Have Known Better!!!
And my totally top of my head Top Seven is --
7. Don Johnson -- Heartbeat
Honorable mention: Eddie Murphy and Bruce Willis. Oh, and I was going to include that astoundingly awful "Just the Way I Planned It" video by Johnson's Miami Vice co-star Philip Michael Thomas but I figured that would be like shooting the proverbial ducks in the barrel.
6. Beyoncé -- Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)
Apart from being one of the most gratingly ugly songs in music history, this video is just...well, words fail me. About as sexy as an exit wound, perhaps. The whole thing is just hideously embarrassing on every level.
5. Elvis Presley -- Dominic the Impotent Bull
Granted, picking just one of the appalling Elvis songs from his movies is a tad daunting...
4. Bob Seger -- Old Time Rock and Roll
You know, I really like Bob Seger, but even apart from the whole Tom Cruise Risky Business thing, I have never forgiven him for this philistine reactionary piece of shit.
3. Paul McCartney -- Let 'Em In
"Someone knocking at the door/Somebody ringin' the bell/Someone's knocking at the door/Somebody's ringing the bell/Do me a favor -- open the door and let 'em in." Jeebus, compared to this crap, "Silly Love Songs" was A Dance to the Music of Time.
2. Rod Stewart -- Downtown Train
From Rod's Songs I Learned In the Limo On the Way to the Studio collection of 1990. Seriously, I'm glad composer Tom Waits made a boatload of money on this, but jeebus could this version be any more clueless compared to the original?
And the numero uno Not Even So Bad it's Good moment in rock history has to be, without any question whatsoever...
1. The Beach Boys -- Here Comes the Night (Disco Version)
I'm not completely sure which of the Beach Boys thought this hideous dance remake of one of the most perfect Wild Honey songs was a smart idea. I'm going to blame Mike love just on general principles, however. Fuck you, Mike. As Hurley said on Lost the other week, you're a tremendous douche.
Alrighty, then -- what would your choices be?
[Shameless Blogwhore: My parallel Cinema Listomania -- theme: Best or Worst Drug Movie, Pro or Con -- is now up over at Box Office. As always, if you could see your way to going over there and leaving a comment, it would help convince management that my exorbitant freelance fee is totally justified. Thanks.]